


My One True

by lambent



Category: Adam Lambert (Musician), American Idol RPF, Kris Allen (Musician)
Genre: Age Difference, Dom/sub, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-26
Updated: 2012-02-26
Packaged: 2017-10-31 18:19:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 24,997
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/347030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lambent/pseuds/lambent
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eber entered the bar cautiously but purposefully. It had been years since he visited a place like this, and he wouldn’t have ventured here tonight without good reason. </p><p>Adam’s voice on the phone had been urgent. “Dad, please, I don’t know anyone else to ask. I thought of Brad or Cass, but he knows you. He trusts you. You have to get him home and talk some sense into him, OK? He sounded--” Adam’s voice broke off, and Eber knew his son well enough to know he was fighting back tears. “I’m afraid he’s going to do something really foolish. Just, please, Dad. Go get him, OK?” </p><p>Looking around the dark and dingy room, Eber understood why Adam had been so desperate. It...wasn’t the kind of place one would imagine Kris Allen frequenting, and not just because it was a gay bar. This was the kind of place where a boy like Kris could be taken advantage of.</p>
            </blockquote>





	My One True

**Author's Note:**

> This began in the AI kink meme as porn and turned into something I never anticipated--a love story. The primary pairing is Eber Lambert/Kris Allen, but rest assured that I adore Adam and he will ultimately be well cared for, lol. I know it is a rare pairing, to say the least, but I have grown to love these two together. I hope you enjoy! I plan to write more of this pairing, and if there is an audience for it, I will gladly post it.

Eber entered the bar cautiously but purposefully. It had been years since he visited a place like this, and he wouldn’t have ventured here tonight without good reason.

Adam’s voice on the phone had been urgent. “Dad, please, I don’t know anyone else to ask. I thought of Brad or Cass, but he knows you. He trusts you. You have to get him home and talk some sense into him, OK? He sounded--” Adam’s voice broke off, and Eber knew his son well enough to know he was fighting back tears. “I’m afraid he’s going to do something really foolish. Just, please, Dad. Go get him, OK?”

Looking around the dark and dingy room, Eber understood why Adam had been so desperate. It...wasn’t the kind of place one would imagine Kris Allen frequenting, and not just because it was a gay bar. This was the kind of place where a boy like Kris could be taken advantage of. He spotted Kris almost immediately, sitting at a back table with a couple of guys. One of them had one arm around Kris’s shoulders, and his other hand was tracing the outline of Kris’s nipple through his shirt as he licked at Kris’s neck. Kris’s eyes were closed, his mouth open and wet. The second man stood and gestured to the back room, and laughing, they pulled Kris to his feet.

“Kris. Come on, it’s time to go home now.” Eber ignored the two men and spoke directly to Kris.

Kris’s swayed, and his eyes opened a bit. “Adam?” His voice was raspy. “No, Adam’s in Germany. He can’t be here...” Eber watched Kris shake his head, trying to clear the fog.

“What the fuck, is your daddy here?” sneered the second man. “Come on, honey, you can stay with us. We’ll take good care of you.”

In an instant, Eber wrapped his huge hand around the man’s arm, squeezing tight. “What did you give him?” Eber’s voice was calm and low, but his eyes were full of venom and his grip was bruising.

“Nothing he didn’t want,” offered this friend defiantly. “Little slut, he was begging for it.”

Eber released the man he was holding and grabbed the second man by the neck. For a moment he considered how good it would feel to use his considerable size advantage to beat the shit out of them both. He could do it, easily. But that would just call attention, and Eber decided instead to get Kris out of there while there was still a chance no one had photographic evidence of the former American Idol getting ready for a gay threesome in a sleazy club.

“Fuck off. Both of you.” They had enough sense of self-preservation to vanish. Eber turned his attention to Kris, who was bleary-eyed and having trouble remaining upright, and put his arm around his shoulders to steady him and guide him out the door. But before he could get them there, Kris stumbled, and when Eber caught him Kris gasped. “Adam,” he moaned “you changed your mind. You came for me.” And Kris was mouthing at the collar of Eber’s shirt and reaching up to kiss him, hot and dirty. Kris’s cock was hard against Eber’s thigh, and Eber felt himself respond to the eager young body before he realized what was happening.

He broke away at once. “Kris! Kris, look at me. It’s Eber, Kris. Adam sent me because he was worried about you, OK? I’m going to drive you home now. You can...you can talk to Adam tomorrow.” About what, Eber wasn’t exactly sure. He knew (hell, anyone with eyes knew) that there was something more than friendship between his son and Kris Allen, but he wasn’t sure of the extent of their relationship.

Kris sagged, suddenly limp and despondent, and Eber all but carried him to the car. He scanned the parking lot and was relieved to find it empty. He buckled Kris in, and they drove in silence for a while. Eber thought that Kris was asleep until he heard a soft sob from the passenger seat. Poor kid, thought Eber. Got it bad.

When they pulled into the parking lot of Kris’s LA apartment, Kris became frantic. “No, no, not going back there, don’t live there anymore,” he begged, and Eber pulled out just to calm him.

He called Adam, who was surprised too. “I don’t know. It must be Katy, I don’t...look, just take  
him to my place. It’s empty. I’ll call security to let you in, and he can stay there as long as he needs to. Dad, I’m sorry. Thank you so much for taking care of him.”

Adam had called security like he said he would, and a guard let them in without batting an eye, although surely he recognized Kris. Oh well, these guys were paid to be discrete about their wealthy clients. Eber had to practically carry him in, and Kris didn't seem to be getting any more sober. The place was cold and felt empty. Eber debated before taking Kris into Adam's room. Was Kris accustomed to sleeping here? From the sound of things, Kris wanted to be in Adam's bed, but Adam hadn't let that happen. Yet. Eber glanced down at Kris's compact body. Adam would have to be a saint to keep resisting that. Kris was a walking, breathing fantasy: gorgeous face, tight little ass, lips that were made to...Eber mentally shook himself. What the fuck? This kid was young enough to be his son, and more importantly, he was Adam's friend - possibly more-than-friend. If Eber wanted male companionship, he never had a problem finding it. He was here to take care of Kris like Adam asked, not to think about...that.

When they reached the bedroom, Eber led Kris to the king-size bed and gently lowered him. He slipped off Kris's shoes, but he left his clothes on. Dangerous enough fully clothed, thought Eber with a rueful smile. He checked Kris's pulse and made sure that he was breathing easily. Then he went into the main room, where he sent Adam a quick text, reassuring him that Kris was sleeping safe and sound. He stretched out on the sofa, wondering how much Kris would remember in the morning.

He woke a couple of hours later, disoriented. When he remembered where he was, and why, he went to the door of Adam's room to check on Kris. His jeans and shirt were now tossed on the floor beside the bed. Eber was somewhat relieved to see that Kris was at least wearing his underwear, but still. Jesus. Eber knew it was wrong, the way his eyes ran over Kris's body, so smooth and muscular in the moonlight, and lingered on the swell in his thin white briefs. Idiot, he chastised himself. Get the hell out of here. But Kris must be cold, he thought, so he moved a little closer to put a blanket over him. His fingers lightly grazed Kris's chest as he arranged the blanket, and Kris moaned in his sleep and arched his back. Jesus, thought Eber. So responsive.

He closed his eyes and moved to leave, but a husky voice stopped him.

"Hey." Eber froze, and when he looked down, Kris was staring up at him thoughtfully.

"Hey," Eber managed. "How are you feeling?"

Kris winced and said, "Head hurts."

Eber nodded and went into Adam's bathroom. He found a bottle of aspirin and filled a glass with water. When he returned, Kris was sitting up, the blanket pooled around his hips. Kris rubbed his eyes, and Eber averted his gaze from Kris's flexing arm muscles. He handed Kris the aspirin and water and waited while he drank it. "You rest some more. I'll be in there, call if you need anything, OK?"

Kris nodded, then said, "Wait, I...could you just. Stay for a minute?" Kris's eyes were pleading, and for a moment all Eber saw was a lost, scared boy.

"Yes, sure. Hey, it's alright, Kris. You're alright."

Kris nodded again and looked around. "Adam's room," he stated.

"Yes. I tried to take you back to your place but you, ah, resisted. So Adam suggested I bring you here. He wants you to stay as long as you like."

Kris ran his hands over the sheets. His eyes took in the elegant furnishings, the shelves of books, the art on the walls. "I've never been in here to really look around. Just at parties. He never," Kris drew a deep breath and looked right at Eber, "He never invited me to stay. Even when I really, really wanted to."

"Adam cares about you, Kris. You're his best friend. He was frantic when he called me, terrified that you were going to do something foolish."

Kris chuckled grimly. "Yeah. Foolish. That's what he thinks it is, me going to a gay club. Me wanting to be with a man. He thinks it's a game or something. So I told him if it wasn't going to be him, it might as well be somebody else. I don't know, I was mad. It was...I just wanted him to realize, you know? That I'm serious. That I want this. That this is who I am. And I'm sorry you got dragged in. Thank you," he said, "for coming." Kris grew thoughtful again. "I thought you were him, when I saw you there. You look like him."

Eber felt Kris's eyes roaming over his shoulders, his legs, and coming to rest on his neck. "I wish he didn't cover up his freckles all the time. I like to see them." Kris's eyes filled with tears, and Eber instinctively moved to sit by Kris on the bed. Kris immediately moved close to him and rested his head on Eber's chest.

Eber was still as he looked down at Kris's bare shoulders and back. He steadied his breathing. "I'm going to go and let you get some rest now," he said, even as his arms moved to settle around Kris. "I should go."

Kris ignored him. "You smell nice," he murmured. "Can you stay? Just for a minute." Eber didn't move. Surely Kris could feel his heart pounding.

"Adam told me," Kris said softly. "He told me the reason you got divorced. That you like men." Kris looked up at Eber. "I think that's one of the reasons he won't be with me. Because he thinks about you and Leila splitting up and how that made him feel. But I feel like you understand me right now. That it's for real. The way I want it so bad, and how even though I care about Katy, there's something more that I need. I want it so bad, so bad," he repeated as he began to nuzzle the open neck of Eber's shirt, his breath warm and moist against Eber's skin.

Eber's head was spinning, and his voice was a hoarse whisper. "Kris, I need to go now. I need to go. Please, son--"

"I'm not your son. And the way you look at me sometimes, I know you know that too." Kris pressed his hand firmly against Eber's cock.

Eber choked back a moan, and in an instant his mind flashed to all the things he could do to this devilish boy, to hold him down and show him exactly what he was asking for. He has no idea, thought Eber, the things I could do to him. It took every ounce of Eber’s willpower to move Kris’s hand and say firmly, “This can’t happen, Kris. You know the reasons.”

He moved to leave the bed, but Kris stopped him with, “What reasons? We’re both adults. We’re both free. Katy and I separated. She wants the divorce as much as I do.”

“Adam--”

“Adam and I are friends. He made that perfectly clear, that that’s all we’ll ever be, and that I should move on. So this is me moving on. Isn’t it better to do it like this than with some bar hookup, somebody who maybe won’t be so nice to me? I know you’d be good to me, you’d treat me right. Adam would want my first time to be with someone who would treat me right.”

Eber couldn’t think how to argue with that. He switched tactics. “Kris. You just said yourself that I remind you of him. That’s all this is, you’re thinking I would be some kind of substitute, or--”

“No.” Kris shifted so he was sitting on Eber’s lap facing him, pinning him to the bed with his thighs. “I know exactly who you are. And I know you’re not him. Yeah, you’re like him here,” Kris ran his hands over Eber’s broad shoulders and chest, “and I like how big you are. I guess I have a type.” Kris leaned forward so his voice rumbled against Eber’s ear. “I want a man who’s big enough to hold me down, to fill me up. That’s what I want.” And then Kris was kissing him with those sinful, lush lips, and Eber was kissing him back.

He couldn’t think any more, he couldn’t remember why he had thought this was wrong when it felt so right to be here with Kris, so trusting and eager. So new at this, just like Eber had been new at it not so long ago. His first time had not been so good. He would make it better for Kris, he resolved. He would teach him how good it could be.

Kris was unbuttoning Eber’s shirt now, desperate to get more skin, and then he was pulling at his pants. “Wanna touch you, suck you, everything.”

Eber easily flipped Kris so he was pinned to the bed. Kris writhed beneath him. “Yeah, like that.” His slim hips bucked, and Eber gazed at the beautiful sight beneath him. Kris’s eyes were dark, his lips red and wet. His white briefs were damp from his leaking cock, and the thin cotton did little to contain his full erection. With his big hands, Eber anchored Kris’s hips to the bed and lowered his mouth to suck Kris’s cockhead through the fabric. He felt Kris’s hands slide into his hair, and he heard Kris cry out as Eber sucked harder. With his teeth he grasped the top of the underwear and pulled it down so that Kris was fully exposed. He gently tongued Kris’s balls before licking him from root to tip, then engulfing his entire length, swallowing him down just as Kris jerked and came hard and fast down his throat.

Eber licked Kris’s gorgeous cock through the aftershocks, stopping only when Kris’s grip on his hair loosened. He stroked his leg soothingly. “Do you still want more?” Eber questioned softly.

“Yes, yes,” Kris struggled to sit up, but Eber chuckled and gently pushed him back. “You rest. You’re going to need your energy.” He rolled off the bed and stood over Kris. Slowly, he unzipped his jeans and slipped them off, gauging Kris’s reaction. Kris’s eyes widened at the sight. To say that Eber was well-endowed was an understatement.

“We won’t do anything you aren’t--” Eber began, but Kris was already moving to the edge of the bed and reaching eagerly for him. He grinned up at Eber. “Apparently, I’m a size queen,” and he ran his tongue all around the head before suckling at it, eyes closed in ecstasy. The sight of Kris’s full lips wrapped around his cock was almost more than he could take, and he gently pushed him away, saying, “I’m not going to last long if you keep that up,” and Kris flushed proudly.

“I want you to last.” Kris lay back on the bed, legs bent and spread wide. Despite all the bravado, Eber could see that he was trembling, and he moved to wrap Kris in his arms and kiss him tenderly. Kris was already getting hard again, and Eber had a momentary pang at the realization that this was due to Kris’s age. But then Kris was talking, low and filthy in his ear, and Eber forgot all about that. “I want all of it. I can take it. I want you to fuck me so hard.”

“Turn over,” Eber directed, and Kris moved at once to his hands and knees. Eber took in the sight, Kris’s hole so pink and pretty and untried, just waiting to be fucked by him. “Lie down, baby. I’m going to take some time getting you ready for it. Just relax.” Kris nodded and did as he was told, and Eber found what he needed in the bedside table drawer. He warmed some massage oil in his hands, then began working on Kris’s shoulders, his back, and finally his firm ass cheeks. “That feel good, baby?” he asked, and Kris all but purred in response.

After a while, Kris began to make needy little noises, and he spread his legs wider for Eber, so he drizzled a little oil over Kris’s hole, enjoying the way the tight muscle twitched at the unfamiliar sensation. He teased one finger lightly over the entrance, and Kris immediately moved back, begging for more. Eber gave him a little warning tap, and Kris shuddered and rubbed against the bed. Christ, thought Eber. This one was full of surprises. “ Naughty boy,” Eber tested, and Kris moaned, “Yes, I am. ” He caught Eber’s eye over his shoulder, and whispered, “I need to be taught a lesson. Sir.”

With a growl, Eber poured more oil over his finger before sliding it all the way in. “Like that? Will that teach you to mind me?”

“Yes, fuck, yes Sir,” and Kris trembled with the effort of being still. Eber rewarded him with another finger, and Kris moaned at the stretch. “More, please more.”

“Greedy boy.” Eber removed his fingers momentarily just to hear Kris cry out in frustration before he added a third to Kris’s impossibly tight hole.

 

“Is that what you want? You going to come for me, just from my fingers?”

“Cock. Please, I want your cock, wanna come on your cock, please,” Kris chanted, as Eber fucked him relentlessly with his long fingers.

“OK, baby,” soothed Eber, “OK.” He removed his fingers and reached for the condom.

Kris turned to watch as he rolled it on and slicked himself up with lube. His breathing was shallow and rapid, and Eber paused once more to say, “Kris, are you--”

“If you don’t fuck me, I think I’ll die.” Kris reached back and separated his ass cheeks, presenting his wet, glistening hole to Eber.

He was tight, so tight it was the sweetest kind of painful, and Eber took it slow, entering Kris inch by exquisite inch. Kris grew quiet, and Eber said, “Do you need me to stop? Tell me what you need, baby.”

“S’good, so good,” Kris breathed, and Eber gave a shallow, experimental thrust. Kris started to move then, rocking back on Eber, and the sight of Kris working his sweet little hole over his hard red cock was almost unbearable. Eber wrapped his fingers around the base and squeezed, wanting to last as long as he could, but he knew it wouldn’t be long. He began to pump Kris’s ass, so tight, so sweet. He reached around and grasped Kris’s leaking erection, and with one tug, Kris was crying out and spilling all over the sheets. Eber followed immediately with one last thrust, mouthing the moist, golden skin of Kris’s back.

Eber gently rolled them over on their sides before he slowly pulled out. He took care of the condom and turned back to see Kris tentatively touching his stretched opening. “OK, baby?” Eber asked softly, his fingers joining Kris’s, stroking gently.

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m perfect.” Kris grinned. “That was perfect.” He turned in Eber’s arms and rested his head on his chest, fingers carding through his coarse golden hair. “I like this. You’re like a lion,” Kris mumbled, and then he was asleep.

 

Eber wouldn’t have thought sleep possible, but as he lay there with Kris breathing evenly on his chest, his hand loosely tangled in Eber’s thick hair, sleep claimed him. Kris was curled up next to him now, looking so sweet and peaceful that Eber wanted to pull him close, to kiss him good morning. But then the reality of the situation hit him, and his chest felt tight. He had spent the night with Kris Allen. In Adam’s bed. Adam, who had trusted him to care for his friend. memories of the night before flashed through Eber’s mind, and he rolled out of bed and stumbled for the bathroom. He splashed cold water on his face and surveyed his tired face in the mirror. What have you done, you old fool?

The door squeaked open, and Kris padded in. Wordlessly, he took in Eber’s anguished expression in the mirror, then he moved forward to wrap his arms around Eber from behind. He pressed his cheek to Eber’s back and gently rocked them back and forth, back and forth. Then he pulled away and, taking Eber’s hand, led him to the shower. Eber followed. Kris was solemn, but he didn’t look at all upset. Eber started to speak, but Kris shook his head. OK, so they weren’t going to talk about it, then. Kris turned on the water spray and drew Eber into the big shower stall. The water felt amazing, hot and soothing and real, and Kris put his arms around Eber again and hugged him close. Still, he didn’t speak. When Kris finally pulled away, he found a bar of soap, then began to wash first Eber, then himself. The lavender scent was bracing, but Eber was still powerless to move as Kris tended him with sure and gentle hands. Kris reached up high to rub shampoo in Eber’s hair and Eber remembered what Kris had said last night. Like a lion. A tawny mane, thought Eber. But had Kris been thinking of silky black hair while Eber entered his body?

He looked to Kris’s face for some sign, some clue. He just saw clear brown eyes gazing into his, and he heard Kris’s soft voice. “Please, don’t be sorry it happened.” Kris brushed his lips against Eber’s jaw before he turned off the water and began to towel them both off.

Silent again, they both dressed in last night’s clothes and set about removing all traces of the night before. Eber stripped the bed of its sheets and put on fresh ones. Kris paused as he placed the bottles of oil and lube in the bedside table drawer. Glancing down, Eber saw why. There was a photo in the drawer, a snapshot of Kris, gazing at whomever was behind the camera with hearts in his eyes. Eber didn’t have to ask who had taken the picture.

Kris was still for a moment, then he slowly closed the drawer and turned to Eber, eyes suddenly damp. “Let’s go, OK?”

Back in Eber’s car, Kris said, “My car is back at the club, you can drop me off there.” Before Eber could ask, Kris said, “I’ve been living at a hotel. Didn’t want to deal with the attention of everyone finding out about me and Katy, you know?” Eber nodded. He knew.

They drove in silence for a long while before Kris continued, “I want to talk about this later, OK? But not right now. I just...I’m glad it happened. I really liked it.” His voice was soft, bashful, and Eber could see the blush that flooded Kris’s face, and he remembered. It had been Kris’s first time. For all Kris’s brash behavior and eagerness the night before, he had never been with a man before.

Eber pulled into the parking lot, alongside Kris’s car. He turned to Kris. “You were amazing, Kris. Seriously amazing.” Kris flushed with a little embarrassment and a lot of pleasure, but he didn’t answer. He gave Eber a tentative kiss on the lips before he got out and into his own car.

 

It was a Sunday, and Eber felt it was a good day to stay home and avoid seeing people. He turned off his phone and tried to get some work done. Thoughts of Kris flitted through his brain, only to be flooded with guilt as he imagined what Adam’s reaction would be if he found out. Anger, jealousy, disappointment. And yet, it had felt so good being with Kris. So right. And he had truly been amazing, and Eber found himself remembering Kris’s responsiveness, his eagerness, and his submissiveness. Well, he would have to content himself with the memories, he thought, because it would never happen again.

When the doorbell rang, he almost didn’t answer it. It persisted, however, and he was more than a little surprised to find Kris waiting, holding a box. Kris grinned. “Don’t think it’s lost on me that this looks like the set up for a porn video. Um, pizza boy. Seriously, I thought maybe you hadn’t eaten, so...” Kris trailed off uncertainly. “Can I come in?”

Eber moved aside, and Kris came in. He was dressed in fresh clothes, ass-hugging jeans and a skin tight t-shirt. Eber honestly didn’t know what to say. He was hungry, though. Starving, in fact. Food hadn’t really crossed his mind, but the pizza smelled unbelievable.

They ate in Eber’s small kitchen, and somehow the conversation wasn’t awkward. They talked about pizza places, and Kris’s next album. Kris asked about Eber’s job, and Eber was surprised by how much Kris knew about his business. He seemed genuinely interested. They settled on the sofa after with a couple of beers, and finally Kris said, “I don’t know how to do this. So I’m just gonna...” He moved over and put his hands on Eber’s shoulder, then he leaned in to kiss him, slowly, sweetly.

Eber moaned. “Kris, Kris, you don’t know how much I want to, but I--”

“Shh, you can. We can.” He kissed him again, and then Kris was sitting in his lap, fingers tangled in his hair, saying, “I thought about this all day. I want you. I want...” Kris’s ducked his head, bashful.

“What do you want baby? Tell me.”

Kris met his eyes. His cheeks were flushed and his voice was a teasing whisper. “I want to be your dirty boy.”

There was a moment when Eber thought, Now, I could end this now. It’s not too late. But that moment passed with a rush of fire, and he all but felt them falling, helplessly, irrevocably.

Kris was waiting for him, uncertain, and suddenly Eber wanted the brash, cocky Kris from last night back.

“Is that how you address me?”

Relief flooded Kris’s face, then desire. He lowered his eyes. “No, Sir. I’m sorry, Sir.”

Christ, thought Eber, he’s going to be the death of me. Every fantasy he’d ever had and a few he never knew he had, sitting right there in his lap.

“Are you a dirty boy?”

Kris nodded. “Yes, Sir.”

“Take off your shirt.” Kris removed it slowly. His muscles rippled, and Eber knew the effect was intentional. “You’re a little tease, aren’t you? Did you dress in that tight little shirt to tease me?”

Kris nodded again. “I did, Sir.”

Eber stroked Kris’s smooth, hairless chest, stopping to roll his taught nipple between his thumb and forefinger. “Show me your pretty cock.”

Kris unbuttoned his jeans and lowered the zipper. He reached inside his pants and pulled out his cock, already hard. He waited, cock cradled in his hand, for Eber’s instructions.

“Do you like to touch yourself? Hmm? Show me what you like to do to your pretty cock when you’re alone, baby.”

Kris began to stroke firmly.

“That the way you like it baby? Not too gentle?” Eber concentrated on keeping his breathing steady, his voice calm.

“Yeah.” Kris continued stroking. As they watched, a droplet of precome pooled in his slit.

Eber put his hand over Kris’s and stopped his movement. He raised Kris’s hand to his own and licked Kris’s palm before wrapping it around his cock again.

“What do you like to think about when you touch yourself? Hmm? Do you think about dirty things?”

“Yeah, I do. I’m a bad boy.” Kris was moving faster, his thumb reaching up to swipe over the tip with every stroke.

“Tell me.”

“I think about men sucking me off. I think about them fucking me with their big hard cocks and coming all over me, all over my face.”

“What else?”

“I think about being tied up sometimes, in a room full of men.”

“Go on baby. What do they do?”

“They look at me. They get to touch me. They bid on me, and the one who wins fucks me while the rest watch.”

“And you like it.”

“I do, I do,” Kris moaned. He was close now, his breathing was hitched and his movements jerky.

Eber put his mouth close to Kris’s ear and whispered, “Slut.”

Kris came instantly, crying out as his release spurted onto his hand and Eber’s shirt.

When the spasms slowed, Eber took his hand and licked it clean, kissing Kris between licks, wet, dirty kisses. He stood, Kris still cradled in his arms, and carried him to his bedroom.

Eber placed him on the bed, admiring the sight of Kris against the crisp, white sheets, brown eyes glowing. He undressed as Kris watched, then moved to pull off Kris’s jeans so he saw nothing but golden skin. Kris reached for him, spreading his legs so that Eber was cradled between his thighs.

“Want it like this, so I can see you.”

“No, baby. We’re not going to do that tonight.”

A noise of protest. “But--”

“You’re sore from last night. I want to take it easy.” Kris frowned. Eber continued, “I’m not going to do anything that might hurt you, Kris. We can play. I like the way we play, but I will never hurt you.”

“I know. You take care of me.”

“I do. I will.”

“Let me--” Kris shifted so that he was looking down at Eber. “Let me take care of you now.” He began to explore Eber’s body then, slowly mapping the lines of his arms, the planes of his chest. “I’ve never really gotten to look before.” He seemed especially taken with the reddish gold hair on Eber’s chest. “You’re gorgeous,” he murmured. His hands trailed down until he was stroking Eber’s cock with the back of one finger. “I like how big you are. But I guess you figured that out already.” That crooked grin, that throaty chuckle.

His hand moved lower, and he cupped Eber’s balls in his palm before he moved down to rub his cheek there, breathing in his musky scent. “Teach me what to do. I want to do it the way you like it.”

Eber could barely breathe. “Lick it,” he managed. Kris ran his little pink tongue from root to tip over and over again while gently caressing his balls. “Yes, like that.” He squeezed his eyes shut, fighting back orgasm. He wanted this to last. “Swirl your tongue around the top. Oh!” he cried out when Kris did. “That’s so good, baby. So good.” He closed his eyes, lost in the sensation.

“Can I suck it? I want to suck it now.”

“Yes, suck my cock. Fuck, those lips, those fucking lips.”

Kris sucked harder, and the sounds of his greedy moans and the wicked, wet sound of his sucking filled the room.

Kris tried to take more and more of Eber, and when he began to gag a little Eber showed him how to wrap his hand around his cock so he could just take the top. “That’s plenty, baby. Feels perfect, just like that.” He watched as Kris’s head began to bob up and down, faster and faster. The visual was too much, and he surrendered to the sensation. “Kris, Kris, I’m going to--” Eber tried to pull out of Kris’s mouth, but Kris made a noise of protest and sucked harder, faster. He swallowed as much as he could, but it was too much for him to take, and when he pulled away his face and lips were streaked with white.

“Such a good boy,” Eber moaned, and he pulled Kris close to lick his face clean. Kris kissed him deeply, seeking out the last of the taste.

They lay together in comfortable silence for a long time, and this time Kris didn’t fall asleep. Finally, he spoke. “It feels right. Being with you.”

Eber pulled Kris closer, enveloped the tiny frame in his larger one. “Yes.”

“I’m so glad it was you. If you hadn’t come to that club, I would have--”

“Shh. It didn’t happen. You didn’t.” Another silence as they both imagined the other course things could have taken, the one that didn’t end with Kris safely wrapped in strong and caring arms. “Kris? I don’t want you to go back there. Or to any place like that, OK? You come to me. Come to me and I’ll give you everything you need. I’ll take good care of you.”

Kris pressed his back even tighter against Eber’s warm body. “OK,” he whispered.

 

Kris didn’t go back to the hotel. They both went about their business as usual, but each evening Kris came to Eber. He had a toothbrush in the bathroom, a guitar in the closet. They both knew why he took care to put it away before he left, and why he parked a block away on a back street. They knew, but they never talked about it. They talked about other things.

Most days when Kris came, he brought something. Food, sometimes take out, sometimes groceries for them to cook together. Sometimes a dvd for them to watch, or a book he thought Eber might like. Kris liked to work on his music late at night, and Eber loved listening to him work out tricky bits on his guitar. They craved each other. Kris submitted to Eber again and again. He begged to be held down and taken, and Eber did it, loved it. He kissed and fretted over the bruises on Kris’s wrists and thighs, but Kris delighted in them. Kris knew what he wanted.

He dropped to his knees in front of Eber again and again, worshipping his cock. “Tie my hands. Fuck my mouth,” he pleaded, and Eber did.

He knew Kris wanted even more than the light spanking Eber would give him after. “No, Baby. I won’t hurt you,” Eber would croon as he soothed the warm pink skin before he sucked Kris down.

The unspoken agreement was that they never, ever mention Adam.

Until they did.

 

“I wish we could go out together. Like on a date.” Kris’s voice was soft, wistful. Eber’s head was in his lap, and Kris was carding his fingers through Eber’s mane of hair as he loved to do. “Maybe...maybe we should just do it.”

Eber stopped breathing. How to even respond to that? Because of course it was impossible.

“I love being here with you. But I don’t want to have to hide it from everyone. I hate that. I want...I want everyone to see that I’m yours. I’m your boy.”

Eber finally opened his eyes and looked up at Kris. “Everyone?”

“Yeah. Everyone.” Kris traced the line of Eber’s neck, the shell of his ear. “He keeps calling me, texting me. He knows there’s something I’m not telling him. You know how he is.”

Of course Eber knew. Like father like son. Adam was frustrated and he was tenacious. It was only a matter of time.

“He’ll find out. He will. I think it would be better to tell him. Just tell him.”

“Or...” Eber hesitated. “Or we could let this be the end.” He sat up and cupped Kris’s stricken face in his hands. “Oh, baby, no, don’t look at me that way.” He pulled Kris close to him. “You know that’s not what I want. I just don’t want to--”

Kris pulled away furiously. “We could just tell him.” There were tears in his eyes. “We’re both adults, and we have the right to be together if we want to be.”

“Kris. Kris, I...”

Kris stopped him with a kiss. “I know, it’s different for you. I love him too, but he’s your son. I know. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. We can just stay the way things are. We can be careful. I’m gonna be on tour soon anyway, so...I just want to be together while we can.”

That night, Kris wasn’t so submissive. He pressed Eber down, impaled himself on Eber’s big cock, riding with abandon. It was enough, Eber thought. It was enough.

 

The remaining days before Kris’s tour passed without further discussion of the situation. Kris was exhausted from the rehearsals and preparations, so in the evenings Eber wanted to help him relax, get rid of some of the stress. He loved pampering Kris. He went out of his way to arrange for pleasant nights together, complete with firelight and soft music. He cooked healthy meals, since Kris would be eating on the road for the next few months.

“It takes a lot out of you, being on the road,” Eber remarked as he sliced avocado for a salad. Kris was leaning against the island with a glass of wine.

“Yeah, I guess. But it’s the best feeling you know? I’m completely happy when I’m up there, on stage. Makes everything go away for a while and it’s just the music.” Kris sipped his wine, eyes trained on Eber’s big hands, sure and quick with the knife. “I’m gonna miss you. though. I’ve never really had anyone to miss while I was away. Before it was always a relief, getting away. So maybe this time will feel different.”

Eber held out a piece of avocado, and Kris leaned forward to take it in his mouth. “I’m just a phone call away. Whenever you need me. Whatever you need.”

“What I need is a reason to take you with me,” Kris laughed. “Do you play any instruments?”

Eber lowered his eyes to Kris’s crotch. “Just one.”

Kris’s eyes darkened. “Why don’t we have a little audition before dinner? I think you might be exactly what I’m looking for.”

“With pleasure.” Eber moved the bowl and cutting board to the counter before pulling off Kris’s jeans then lifting him onto the island. He kissed Kris deeply before settling on a chair between his legs. He brought Kris’s hands to his head, and Kris immediately wove his fingers through Eber’s thick hair. “Feet up.” Eber lifted Kris’s legs and guided his feet to the back of the chair. “Hang on tight, baby.”

Before Kris could fully process what was happening, Eber’s tongue was teasing Kris’s hole, hot and slippery and so fucking good. Kris cried out in surprise, and his initial instinct was to pull away, but Eber growled and spread Kris’s cheeks further apart and buried his face there, tongue thrusting now.

Kris surrendered to the sensation, all embarrassment cast aside. “Fuck, yeah, yeah, so good,” he chanted, and he felt his balls tighten, and then he was crying out and coming on his stomach without even having been touched.

Eber pulled Kris into his lap and held him through the aftershocks. When he could finally speak, Kris said, “I had no idea that was even possible. And I can’t believe you...” Kris blushed. “I can’t believe you did that.” He buried his face in Eber’s chest.

“There’s not much I wouldn’t do to that sweet little ass, baby,” Eber grinned. “Let’s get cleaned up and eat.”

Kris palmed Eber’s hard length through his pants. “But you’re--”

“I like to wait for it. Come on.” Kris cleaned up and dressed in the kitchen while Eber went into the bathroom. He came back and gave a happy, boneless Kris a minty kiss before he began to set the table.

They both froze when the doorbell rang.

 

“Dad?” The bell rang again. “Open up! I saw your car, I know you’re in there!” Adam’s voice was cheerful, joking.

They sprang into action. Eber cleared one plate from the table and put it in the cabinet. Kris swept the room for his shoes, bag and guitar, then disappeared in the back room, silently closing the door behind him.

Eber drew a breath before he opened the door.

“Well, this is a surprise.” Adam gave him a hug before he came in and settled on the sofa.

“Yeah, sorry to barge in, but I’m asking everyone in person. Don’t want to ruin the surprise.”

Eber raised his eyebrows. “Surprise?”

“Yeah. A party.” Adam grinned. “For Kris, after the show Thursday. Very hush hush, though. We want to keep the paps away, and besides, I thought it would be fun to surprise Kris.” Adam fiddled with his rings, a habit he had whenever something was on his mind. He looked around, taking in the fire, the wine glass on the island. “Shit, did I interrupt something?”

Eber went to the kitchen and picked up Kris’s glass, taking a sip. “No. Just having a relaxing dinner for one.” There was a significant silence which Eber had no choice but to fill with, “Have you eaten yet?”

“I have the best timing! What are we having?” Adam came into the kitchen, helping himself and filling his plate while Eber poured him a glass of wine.

They settled at the table. “So about this party,” Eber began. I’m pretty sure I won’t--”

“Dad, you have to come!” Adam looked stricken. “I want everyone important to Kris to be there. Well, everyone who can. Kim is flying out, but Kris’s dad can’t miss work, so he’s going to have to wait and catch the show in Little Rock. So you can be like a stand-in dad. Seriously, he looks up to you so much, Dad.”

Eber got up and opened the refrigerator, hoping the cold air would cool his flaming cheeks. He got out a pitcher of ice water and filled two glasses.

Adam munched on a breadstick. “I really shouldn’t be eating this. So you’ll come, right? My place after the concert. Bring a date.” Adam wiggled his eyebrows. “Neil was saying the other day that you’ve been like a hermit lately.”

Eber changed the subject as smoothly as he could. While Adam talked about his new fragrance line, Eber thought of Kris in the back room. Was he listenening? What must it be like for him?

“As a matter of fact,” Eber interjected, “I have a, er, a date. So I’ll need to be heading out soon. But it’s good to see you son.”

Adam’s eyes widened. “Details, dad! Details!”

Eber mustered a smile. “A bit soon for that. We’ll see.”

Adam left, after a little more teasing, happy that Eber was going out. Eber leaned against the door with a sigh then moved toward the back room.

 

Kris opened the door and came out to meet him. He immediately buried his face in Eber’s chest, but not before Eber saw the tear tracks on his face. They held each other in silence for a while, Eber’s lips pressed to Kris’s head.

“Could you hear?”

“Enough that I’m not gonna be be surprised Thursday night. But after a while I moved away from the door. It was weird.”

“I won’t go.”

“I don’t know. Maybe you should? Just...aww, fuck. This is...”

“I know. I know.”

~*~

They agreed that it would be best for Eber to go to the party for a little while. There was no way he was going to miss Kris’s show that night, and there was no good reason he could give for disappearing after. On Thursday night, Neil picked up Eber before the concert. Neil teased him over dinner. “So Adam told me about your hot date the other night. Spill. Who is it? She or he?” Eber was still pleasantly surprised by how easily Neil had accepted his bisexuality.

Eber hesitated. “He. But it’s early yet. There are...factors.”

“Such as?”

Eber gazed at his drink. “It’s complicated. For one thing, he’s younger.”

Neil raised his eyebrows. “Younger?” Then he shrugged. “So was Steven, right? Hell, so was Mom.” Neil grinned.

“Twenty five.” The words escaped before Eber knew he was going to say them. He felt heat rush to his face, shame, but also a little relief at finally confessing this small part of his sins.

“Whoa.” Neil stared at him. “I’m twenty five. That’s...huh.”

Eber nodded, unable to meet Neil’s eyes.

“Well. I mean, he’s an adult, right? It’s not like he’s a kid, he’s just young. If you like being together, that’s what matters, right?”

Eber looked at Neil gratefully. His son could be a wise-ass sometimes, but he could also be really amazing when it mattered.

“Thanks, son. I feel kind of like an old fool. He’s just so...” Eber couldn’t help beaming at the thought of Kris.

“Wow. You really like this guy.”

Eber nodded. “I really do.”

“So I say enjoy it. If it’s meant to be, good for you both. Alright, let’s go, don’t want to be late for Adam’s boy.”

Reality washed over Eber like icy cold water.

As they drove to the venue, Eber broached the subject tentatively. “Do you know anything about Adam’s feelings for Kris these day?”

Neil smirked. “Just as far gone as ever, the idiot. But at least he’s finally starting to realize that Kris feels the same way. For the longest time, he just couldn’t get it through his thick head that Kris wants to be with him. But between us? I think Adam is finally going to make a move.”

They drove in silence for the rest of the way.

~*~

Eber hadn’t seen Kris perform since the idol tour, and at that time he’d just thought of Kris as a nice guy who could sing. Watching him now was a revelation. Eber was overwhelmed with pride, and he wondered if Kris had always been so sensual when he performed. Did he really not notice that before? The room was full of lovestruck fans, giggling at the prospect of meeting Kris, of getting his autograph. “Mine,” Eber wanted to tell them. “He comes to my bed every night and begs me to make him mine.”

As soon as they entered Adam’s place, Eber knew it had been a bad idea to come. Kris was already there, having been delivered by Cale and Andrew, and Adam had a possessive arm around him. Kris’s back was to Eber, but he could see the way Adam was looking at him. It was like a gut punch to Eber when Adam leaned down and pressed a kiss to Kris’s ear. Kris didn’t pull away. Didn’t move at all, just acted like it was the most natural thing in the world for Adam to be holding him, kissing him. Then he heard Kris’s laugh ring out, saw Kris’s arm snake around Adam’s waist as Allison grinned her approval and mouthed “Finally!” to Torres.

“Dad? Are you alright?” Neil frowned. “Jesus, you look like you’ve seen a--” Neil broke off as his gaze followed Eber’s. It didn’t take long. Neil was sharp. “Oh, fuck. fuck, no. Dad, tell me it’s not. Tell me it’s not Kris.”

Adam spotted them across the room. “Dad, Neil! Come over here and congratulate my boy!”

 

Kris turned immediately, and if Neil had any uncertainty left, the expression on Kris’s face was enough for him to realize that he had guessed correctly.

“Fuck. Fuck. OK, Dad, we can do this,” Neil muttered under his breath. He put his arm around his dad and called, “Hey, you were awesome, Kris!” as they approached.

“He’s amazing, isn’t he?” Adam murmured, gazing down at Kris, and suddenly he leaned down to press a soft kiss to Kris’s lips.

There was a stunned silence. “I’m sorry,” Adam said, “I shouldn’t have...Kris, can I talk to you--”

“Go,” Neil whispered quickly to Eber as he gave him a little shove, and Eber made his escape, barely aware of Neil embracing Kris and kissing him soundly on the both cheeks as everyone laughed.

“Drink?” Eber had thought he was alone in the kitchen, but someone else had sought refuge there.

“Thanks, Brad.” He accepted the glass Brad offered, and they drank in companionable silence for a while.

“Looks like it might be happening after all,” Brad remarked, eyes uncharacteristically dull. Eber didn’t pretend to misunderstand.

“Yes. Looks like it.” It took him out of his own troubles for a moment, realizing what Brad must be going through right now. “I’m sorry.”

“I like Kris, I really do. And Adam’s happiness means more to me than--” Brad choked back his tears before he continued, “more to me than anything. I just don’t think he’s the right one for Adam. I always thought....”

Eber nodded. What could he say? He downed his drink and poured another.

***

Neil sent a text: 10 minutes k?

Meet you in the car, thx, Eber sent back. Then he turned off his phone.

“How long?” Neil asked on the drive home.

“It started when Adam was in Germany. He was worried about Kris, asked me to pick him up from a club.... Neil, I would never, ever have imagined this happening.”

“Hey, you don’t owe me an explanation.” Neil frowned. “And look, I don’t know what--what comes next. But I won’t say anything to--to anyone, OK? And I’m here if you need me. I can stay the night if you want.” He was clearly worried about Eber.

“No need. But thanks. Really, Neil, thanks for everything.”

***

Alone in his apartment, Eber lay on his bed, the bed he had shared so many nights with Kris, and finally let the sadness wash over him. A fool. Just an old fool, that’s what he had been.

It was 2:00 a.m. when the knocking woke him up.

Kris was frantic. “I tried to call, I sent texts, but--”

“I turned off my phone.”

‘You left so fast. I wanted to tell you--”

“Kris. Stop. Just...” Eber sighed. “There’s not much to say, is there? We had a good run, but it‘s over now.”

“No.” Kris shook his head and moved to Eber, wrapped his arms around him and tried to claim his lips, but Eber didn’t respond. He steeled himself against the way Kris made him feel, against his soft lips and firm body.

“You deserve better than this Kris. You deserve better than sneaking around and lying and--”

“We don’t have to--”

“I’m old, Kris. I’m twice your age and then some.”

“I don’t care how--”

“Well maybe I care.”

The weight of that statement resonated in the room. Kris stared at him in shock.

Eber continued. “You deserve someone young, someone you can go places with and hold hands with in the open.” He took a deep breath. “And Adam loves you. He can be all those things for you. He never has to know about us.” Eber was surprised by the steadiness of his own voice, by the conviction.

“So that’s it? It’s just that simple for you? It doesn’t even matter what I have to say?” Kris was angry. “You just decide what I want, what’s best for me.”

They stared at each other for a long moment, each unyielding. Then Kris turned and walked out the door.

 

~*~

Eber stared at the door for a long moment, fighting the impulse to go after him, to pull Kris back into the room and hold him, to carry Kris to his bedroom and show him how much he--but Eber didn’t let himself finish that thought. “No,” he said to the empty room. “No. This is for the best.” Kris was hurting now, but this was the best thing for him in the long run. He would get through this, and he would see that it had to happen this way.

Eber picked up his his phone, turned it on, and deleted Kris’s unopened texts and messages. He didn’t give in to the temptation to hear his voice again. He tried not to imagine Kris’s deep, sexy drawl as he said, “Mornin,’” climbing into bed with fresh coffee. Kris was always horny in the mornings (ah, youth), and they never made it through an entire cup before Kris was nibbling at Eber’s neck, snaking a hand underneath the sheets. “Just a little somethin’ to get me through the day,” Kris would pout when Eber protested that they would be late to work. And Eber always gave in.

He spent the night on the sofa with a bottle of gin. He avoided the bedroom, with its rumpled sheets and the guitar stashed in the closet. When he woke up the next morning, he was grateful for the headache that made it difficult for him to think about the events of the night before.

~*~

It was impossible for him to avoid news of Kris’s tour. There were reminders at every turn, so he finally gave in and read some reviews (all good), trying not to linger too long on the photos. It occurred to him that he didn’t own a single photograph of Kris, not on his phone, not in his apartment. Only in his mind did he hold the images of Kris, his Kris. In his mind, Eber thought of him frowning through his glasses as he concentrated on his sheet music, leaning against the bathroom counter as he watched Eber shave, gasping underneath him as Eber plunged deep again and again.

The pictures on the internet weren’t of that Kris. So it didn’t hurt as much as he thought it might.

It was harder to watch the interviews. He couldn’t help seeing the dark circles under Kris’s hollow eyes. Late nights on the phone, he thought. He and Adam would have a lot to talk about.

He braced himself for the inevitable headlines: Kradam at Last! But as the days passed, there was no news of the sort.

He avoided Adam for as long as he could, but finally he had no choice but to see him. Adam didn’t look much better than Kris (or Eber, for that matter). His hair was tucked under a cap, and he was wearing dark glasses to cover his bloodshot eyes when he arrived at Neil’s place for lunch. Leila was there, too. They had always had a good family relationship; in a strange way, the divorce had brought them closer. Leila said she felt that she knew Eber better than before, and the little arguments that had peppered their marriage were a thing of the past.

“I’m worried about Adam,” she confided to Eber as she let him in. “I think it has something to do with Kris. He’s been upset since the night of Kris’s tour party.”

“I’m sure he just misses him,” Eber managed to say lightly. “He was used to seeing him all the time when he was in LA, but with Kris on the road....”

“I don’t know,” Leila frowned. She had that look about her. Eber knew first hand how tenacious Leila could be, especially when she was worried about one of her cubs. Yet another reason it was best to leave Kris alone, thought Eber wryly. He hated to imagine her reaction if she learned of Eber’s past relationship with the man her older son pined for.

As it turned out, Leila didn’t have to pry. Adam was an open book.

They were sitting in Neil’s tiny living room waiting for the Thai delivery when Adam announced, “So I know everyone wants to know what happened with me and Kris.”

Eber studied his wine glass, avoiding Neil’s gaze and hoping no one else had noticed the way his breath hitched at the mention of Kris’s name.

“It’s, um. It’s kind of ironic, really.” Adam’s eyes were damp, his voice hoarse. “When I was finally ready to believe him, to accept that he really wanted--that he really wanted to be with me...” Adam stopped as the tears came. Leila quickly moved to hug him, patting his back soothingly.

“I told him at the party how I feel, how I’ve always felt about him. That I want be with him, to have a relationship with him.” Adam shook his head, bewildered, then continued. “Mom, he said no. “He said he was in love with someone else.”

~*~

Later, Eber wasn’t able to recall much of what followed. Leila comforted Adam, and Neil and the arrival of the Thai food provided distraction. He went through all the motions of lunch with his family, but inside he was in turmoil as the word’s reverberated through his head: In love with someone else.

All he could think of was Kris, feeling alone and rejected. Kris, lying in his cold hotel bed at night thinking that it had been easy for Eber to send him away, into the arms of another man.

He left Neil’s as quickly as he could, after giving Adam a long, solid hug. When he left, Adam was eating ice cream and laughing at one of Neil’s outrageous stories. His son was in good hands, surrounded by people who loved him.

Eber drove home and packed a small bag. Then he drove directly to the airport and booked the next flight to Minneapolis.

It wasn’t until Eber was on the plane that he had time to really think about what he was doing. It had all been a mad rush of driving, checking the itinerary, buying the ticket...but as the plane zoomed toward Minneapolis, toward Kris, Eber realized he hadn’t a clue what he was going to do when he got there. Most of Kris’s people, his band and handlers, knew who Eber was. How to explain his sudden appearance? And even more important, how would Kris react to seeing him? There had been no word from Kris since that night. For the first few days, he half-expected something, a text, or maybe a call. But there had been nothing. Again, Eber ached at the thought of Kris feeling rejected and alone, and his resolve to see Kris and somehow make it right was renewed.

From the airport, he rented a car, asked for directions, and went directly to the venue. He sat outside for a time, wondering what to do next. Contact Kris? No, he didn’t want to possibly rattle him before a show. But the bus would have to travel that night if they were going to make it to the next show. The trick would be to get to him after the show.

Knowing that Kris was so near was driving Eber insane. He needed to see him.

Half an hour later, he was inside. He bought a drink and settled at a small table off to the side, not too near the stage. The place was packed, and Eber felt a rush of pride for Kris, for all he had accomplished. Maybe he wasn’t selling out arenas, but he had a devoted following, from the looks of things.

When Kris first appeared on stage, Eber forgot to breathe. He closed his eyes and let Kris’s warm, soulful voice wash over him, and when he opened them again he drank in the sight of Kris, tight jeans and plaid shirt and the most gorgeous face. Whatever it takes, Eber thought. he’d do whatever it takes to make things right.

Kris looked thinner, Eber observed, and he still had the shadows under his eyes. But he looked happy, too, on the stage, joking with the crowd and inviting them to sing along.

As the final notes of the encore died down, Eber took out his phone: You were incredible. I’m here in the audience. Please, can I see you? He hit send.

It took about three minutes for the reply to come, and they were the longest three minutes of Eber’s life. Finally: I’m sending Claudia to get you now. Will meet you at red door by bar.

Dizzy with relief, Eber made his way to the red door, where Kris’s assistant was waiting. “Eber!” she called. “So great to see you! How’s Adam?” She led him through the door and down a dimly lit hallway. “Kris was so excited to find out you were in town! What brings you all the way out here?”

Eber said something vague about a business conference. She smiled and nodded distractedly then gestured to a door. “Dressing room. We have to leave in twenty, but he wanted to see you. If you’ll excuse me?” And she was off.

Twenty minutes. Eber drew a deep breath and knocked on the door.

It opened immediately, and Kris was staring up at him, eyes wide. “It’s really you,” he said. Then his face crumbled.

Eber was inside at once, closing the door and drawing Kris close. “Oh, baby, my sweet baby. I’m so sorry, so, so sorry,” he murmured as he stroked Kris’s back soothingly. “Please forgive me. I didn’t know. I didn’t know. But I’m here now, and I love you. I love you so much.”

Kris hugged him tightly, hands fisting into Eber’s jacket. “You big idiot. Just...” and Kris was kissing him, scolding him, shaking him, and kissing him some more.

“Time, I wish we had time,” Kris moaned.

“I know. But we will. We do.”

When the knock came at the door, Kris tightened his arms around Eber. “You have to go, baby. You have a lot of people counting on you,” said Eber gently. “When’s your next hotel night?”

Kris’s face brightened. “Saturday. Vancouver. Can you...?”

“I’ll be there.”

Kris nodded. “Just don’t--don’t ever doubt me, OK? Don’t doubt this.”

“I won’t. Never again.”

“I love you,” Kris whispered against his chest.

Another knock. “Kris? Let’s go, bus is waiting!” called Claudia.

“I love you too, baby.”

Kris pulled away and picked up his bag, and with one last, lingering kiss he was gone.

 

***

Eber flew back to LA that night. From the airport, he sent Kris a text: Felt so good to hold you. Everything will be all right. I can’t wait til Saturday

The response came immediately: Saturday. Too long. Wish I could talk to you. Damn bus!

Eber smiled at his phone. Good night, baby. Get some rest. We’ll talk in the morning. After he sent the message, he just sat for a while, grinning like an idiot and not caring who saw. Kris had forgiven him and he loved him. It would be all right. There had to be a way.

 

***

They did talk the next morning, and every other chance they got, whenever Kris could sneak away for a few minutes privacy, into a back room or, once, a closet. Eber sent little texts all day, and Kris sent messages back. We’re like a couple of teenagers, Eber thought. Ridiculous. But he loved it, loved the feeling.

Kris had a few minutes in his dressing room before his show the next night.

“Hey, send me a picture,” Eber said suddenly.

“What?”

“A picture. I know, there are pictures of you all over the internet. I just--I want a picture of you that’s for me. Just for me.”

There was a silence. “Yeah. I can do that.”

After they hung up, it came within a minute. A simple picture of Kris’s face, looking straight into the camera, a sweet little smile on his lips and a light in his sweet, soulful eyes. That’s him, Eber thought. That’s my Kris.

A minute later, another arrived. Eber opened it and almost dropped the phone. Kris had taken a picture of his own reflection in the mirror. His shirt was unbuttoned in this one, and Kris’s eyes were dark and dreamy, his cheeks flushed. Thinking of you, it read.

When the next one came, Eber thought he was prepared. He was wrong. This time, Kris’s jeans were undone. One hand was holding the phone, the other was inside his pants. He was arching his neck just the way Eber loved, and biting his lip. All for you. Sweet dreams.

Eber moaned, and sent: Evil boy.

Kris replied: You know it and love it.

Eber had to laugh. Yeah. He did.

Then Eber sent one last message: Payback in Vancouver. He knew that thought would make his boy shiver in anticipation.

 

Eber planned ahead this time. He wanted everything to be perfect. He found out where Kris and the band would be staying and booked a room at a different hotel.

Sneaking out wasn’t a viable option for Kris. They decided he should just tell Claudia that he would be staying with a friend, that it was personal, and that he could be reached on his phone in case of an emergency. She fussed and tried to pry, but Kris stood his ground. He needed some off the radar time, he said, and besides, they didn’t need to leave until late Sunday. She finally agreed, on the condition that he check in with her on Sunday morning.

Kris signed autographs and posed for pictures after the show. Fans commented on Twitter that he looked really happy.

He took a cab, but asked to be let out a couple of blocks past the hotel and walked back, just in case the driver recognized him. Maybe he was being extra careful, but he didn’t want to take any chances. This night meant too much. He slipped inside and made his way to the room number Eber had given him.

At the light tap on the door, Eber’s heart skipped a beat. Finally.

When Eber opened the door, Kris slipped inside. “Rock star,” Eber teased, as he pulled off Kris’s dark glasses and hat.

They grinned at each other, overtaken by something like shyness, which was ridiculous considering how intimate they had been, how much they had been in contact over the last few days.

“Come here, boy,” whispered Eber as he pulled Kris close, and they were kissing. It wasn’t frantic or desperate. It was slow, sweet, relaxed.

They broke off laughing when Kris’s stomach growled. “I ordered some things. Thought you might be hungry.” Eber led him further into the room, where some covered trays waited on a cart beside a small table.

“You think of everything.” They sat across from one another and enjoyed the delicious food. Although there was great anticipation for what was ahead, there was no urgency. They just enjoyed looking at one another, talking face to face.

Kris stretched, hunger satisfied, and moved to sit in Eber’s lap. “Mmmm, this is my favorite place to be,” Kris murmured as he nuzzled Eber’s neck. He was hard already, and Eber cupped a palm over him.

“Are you sure you don’t want to sleep? You’ve had a long day,” Eber teased.

Kris leaned back to glare at him, but he dissolved into a giggle instead. “No,” he said. I don’t think I’ll be sleeping just yet.” And he kissed Eber, slow and dirty, while Eber unbuttoned his shirt, running his hands over Kris’s smooth, firm chest until he felt his nipples harden. Kris wiggled in his lap, moaning when at last he felt Eber hard and hot against his thigh.

“Thought about this so much,” Kris said, as his hands moved up to tangle in Eber’s hair. “I’m glad you didn’t get it cut. I like it long like this.” He tugged a bit.

“I know, baby. I want it to be the way you like it.”

Kris slipped out of Eber’s lap and held out his hand. “Let’s go to bed.”

They undressed each other slowly, hands running over skin, lips skimming over one another. They had been together many different ways, but they knew this time was different. This was the first time they had been together since they had spoken their love to one another.

They made love face to face, eyes locked, and when Kris came there were tears in his eyes. Eber followed soon after, and as they lay together he kissed the tears from Kris’s face.

“I’m hopelessly in love with you, you know,” Eber crooned.

“You’d better be,” Kris joked, but he nipped Eber’s shoulder with his teeth and sucked until a red mark appeared.

‘I’m yours, baby. I’m yours.”

 

~*~

They slept for a little while, and when they woke up Kris was already hard.

“Seriously, how do you manage on that bus?” Eber kidded.

“You have no idea. Especially the last few days, when I was in this constant state of wanting you. I may need to invest in earplugs for the band.”

“I’ll bet they wouldn’t wear them. They would rather listen to you. I know I would.”

“Yeah? Would you?” Kris looked at him, all wide-eyed innocence. He rolled over on his back and began leisurely stroking his length. “Not much to hear, just--mmmm--just--” Kris reached for the lube and added a few drops to his palm. When he resumed his actions, there was a wet sound. He threw his head back, cupped his balls with his other hand. “Feels so good. Oh, Eber...Eber....”

Eber didn’t move, and Kris cracked an eye open to peek at him. “You little tease,” Eber said affectionately. “Which reminds me...I believe I owe you a payback for those pictures. Way to get a man hot and desperate when you’re on the other side of the country, Kristopher.”

Kris stopped, pupils dilating.

“Were you?”

“Yes. You were a naughty boy to do that to me. I can’t allow such naughty behavior.”

“I’m sorry. I’ll do anything to make it up to you. Anything.” His hand wandered down to Eber’s erection, but Eber stopped him with his voice.

“No. No cock for bad boys.”

Kris’s moan was ragged, and Eber took a moment to enjoy the sight of him flushed and desperate. He continued, “Go to my suitcase and bring me the black case from the side pocket.

Kris nodded and did as he was told. He bent over the suitcase slowly, putting on a show. The sight of Kris’s hole, still rosy and wet from their earlier lovemaking, made Eber want to bend him over the bed and fuck him senseless, but he restrained himself. “You’re being a tease again, Kristopher. That means extra consequences.”

Kris brought him the bag. “Open it,” Eber instructed, and with trembling fingers Kris did and pulled out two strips of red silk cloth and a leather ring.

“Is that a--”

“Yes, baby.” Eber took the cock ring and moved forward to fasten it around the base of Kris’s now leaking erection. I can’t let a naughty, teasing boy come, now can I?”

Kris shook his head. “No, sir,” he whispered. “I guess I don’t deserve it.”

“That’s right.” Eber rose from the bed and led Kris across the room to a full length mirror. “On your knees,” he said casually, and Kris sank to his knees facing the mirror, eyes trained on the ring fastened snugly around his cock. “You look so pretty, Kris.” He knelt behind him and deftly tied Kris’s hands behind his back with one of the silk strips. Kris tested the bond; it held. The other strip he held across Kris’s eyes, then he lowered it to his mouth. “I want you to see.” Eber tied the strip over Kris’s mouth. “A shame to cover those gorgeous lips. But you look so fucking good like this. Just look at how sexy you are.”

His eyes ran over Kris’s body in the mirror, his arm muscles defined even more from the restraint. Reaching around, he began to roll Kris’s nipples in his fingers. “I’ll bet half the men who were in the audience tonight are fantasizing about you right now. The way you move on stage, the way you drag those lips on the microphone.” Kris pressed back against Eber, rubbing against his erection. Eber ignored it and continued.

“Did you play piano tonight, baby? Hmm?” he waited until Kris nodded. “You ride that piano bench like it’s a big hard cock, don’t you? Every man in the audience wishes it was his cock. But you know that, don’t you.” Kris’s breath was harsh now, and he began to whimper through the red silk. “They can’t have you,” Eber spoke low into Kris ear, “because you only ride my cock.”

Kris nodded frantically, trying to speak, and the muffled sound drove Eber wild, but he continued calmly, “When you’re a good boy, that is.” With one hand, Eber reached around and ran a finger across Kris’s hole. He plunged one long finger deep inside while with the other hand he reached around and unfastened the cock ring. Kris came at once, white streaking across the mirror, head lolling back against Eber’s shoulder as spasm after spasm shook his body.

Eber untied the mouth gag and kissed Kris through the last of the aftershocks. “I’ll be good now,” Kris pleaded when he could speak. “I’ll be good.”

“I know you will, baby.” Eber bent Kris forward, hands still tied behind his back, forehead touching the floor. “All right?” he asked softly, and when Kris replied, “Yeah, yeah,” Eber slid into Kris, still loose and wet from earlier.

After, when Eber had untied Kris’s hands and tucked him in bed, soothing his wrists with kisses and caresses, Kris said, “You know, I might have a little trouble being good now and then. You’d best keep me on a tight leash.”

Eber raised his eyebrows. “A tight leash? Yes...I think that can be arranged.”

 

They slept little that night. Kris dozed off and on, nestled securely in Eber’s big arms, but mostly they lay awake, talking in hushed voices, fingers trailing over skin. Sometimes they were quiet, just listening to one another breathe. Eber rested his hand on Kris’s chest, delighting in his warmth, his heartbeat.

In the morning they showered, Kris bathing Eber as he loved to do. “Is all your strength here, like Sampson?” Kris teased as he shampooed Eber’s hair.

Eber smiled. “Now I’m terrified of going bald. Would you still love me?”

Kris’s hand stilled. “I would,” he promised solemnly. “And let’s be honest here. We both know you’re not the one who’s in danger of going bald.” He kissed the back of Eber’s neck and continued shampooing. “No, I love this, though. So thick and golden. OK, rinse.” He moved Eber back under the shower spray.

They ordered a huge breakfast. “Waffles,” Kris requested, and Eber fed him bites of the sticky sweet stuff. “Mmmm, so good. Let’s get a waffle maker when we get home, so you can bring me breakfast in bed.” He said it lightly, but the import wasn’t lost on Eber. We. Home. He kissed Kris’s sticky lips. “We will, baby,” Eber promised.

Kris checked in with Claudia to assure her that he was fine.

“OK, we have all day. What should we do?” Kris pulled a cap and sunglasses out of his bag.

“Kris, I don’t think we should risk it. What if somebody--”

“They won’t. We’ll be careful. I just want to go out for a while, OK? Walk outside with you, like we never could at home. No one here knows you, and no one notices me. You’d be surprised how much people don’t recognize me, seriously. Just another little guy if I’m not on the stage.”

Kris was convincing, so Eber finally agreed.

They found a park with a pond, and Eber bought coffee from a little stand. They settled on a bench overlooking the water and watched as people went by with their dogs, couples holding hands, parents with children. Kris’s gaze lingered on an infant in a stroller, his eyes soft. “Look at that,” he said softly. “Tiny little guy.” He looked at Eber. “I’ve seen pictures of you, with Adam and Neil when they were little. You were such a good dad. Adam always says so.”

Eber flinched a bit at the mention of Adam, but Kris continued resolutely. “We can’t not talk about him. He’s one of the most important people in your life. And he’s my friend. We both love him.” He slipped his hand into Eber’s. “I want us to tell him. When we get back. I know it will be hard, but we have to do it. He’ll be all right. And someday we’ll be able do this at home.”

Eber couldn’t see his eyes behind the glasses, but he knew Kris well enough to know he had that determined look.

Eber finally nodded. “You’re right, I know that. I should be the one to tell him.”

Kris squeezed his hand as tightly as he could. “If you think. But I’ll be there with you, if you want that. By your side. OK?”

Eber thought of his passionate son. “Thank you. But I think it will be best if I tell him alone, though. OK, baby?”

Kris leaned over to press a kiss on his shoulder. “OK,” he said softly.

They wandered through the city after that, looking in shop windows. No one seemed interested in the couple, and Kris was right, no one gave him a second look. It was cold enough that most of the men they passed were wearing hats, and he blended right in.

They almost passed by a store with a discreet sign: Fascinations Adult Store. Kris pulled Eber to a stop. “Is that--?”

Eber looked around warily, but no one was paying them any mind.

“Um, yes, but--Kris I don’t think it would be a good idea to--”

Kris interrupted, “Oh, come on! I’ve been looking at things on the internet, but I’m afraid to order with my card, because, you know. Please? I want us to try some stuff!” He tugged Eber’s hand.

“No, baby.” Eber hated to disappoint him, but it was just too risky. Kris’s lower lip came out, and Eber laughed as he bent to kiss it. “None of that. I’ll make it up to you, I promise, OK? I’ll buy you some presents. But I’m not going to let you go inside this store. Come on, let’s go back to the hotel. You can tell me about the things you’ve been looking at.” He chuckled. “Horny boy. You’re a handful, you know that?”

***

Back in their room, Kris pulled Eber onto the bed at once. They peeled off their clothes and lay together, kissing languidly, until Kris asked in a low, sultry voice, “Do you think about me? When you jerk off?”

They both knew the answer to that. He just wanted to hear it.

“I do, baby. All the time.”

“Tell me,” Kris said between little kisses.

“You make me so hard. I get hard when I hear your voice on the phone. You have the sexiest voice.” Kris was kissing his neck now, hands wandering to explore his chest. “I think about how sweet you look when you suck my cock. You suck cock like there’s nothing better. Lips stretched around, sliding up and down...”

Kris was licking and sucking Eber’s nipple now, teasing it with his teeth. “More,” Kris demanded, and Eber continued.

“I think about how you look when you’re on your hands and knees for me. That ass. Tight little hole. So fucking tight.”

“You’re so big.” Kris was lower now, kissing and licking Eber’s stomach and hipbones but avoiding the thick cock resting there.

“I wish you could see it, the way you take it. So fucking hot.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Kris moaned. He rubbed his cheek along Eber silky length, inhaling his scent before he began to mouth him. “Gonna suck you so good, so good.” He gripped the base of Eber’s cock and began to suck the head, tongue teasing the spot on the underside the way he knew drove Eber wild. Eber was up on his elbows watching, moaning as Kris began to take him deeper and deeper.

“Kris, Kris, feels so good, but you have to sing baby,” he managed, and Kris reluctantly pulled off.

“I think I need to change jobs.” He laughed a little, voice already a little scratchy, but then his look became more serious and he gently pushed Eber’s legs apart.

“Kris?”

“I just want to--I’ve never gotten to see. Can I?” Kris asked, and waited.

Eber was still.

“I know you’ve never...I mean, I know you top, and that’s the way I like it, too. I just want to see you. Maybe touch. OK?”

Eber took a breath and nodded, letting Kris position his legs, spread his cheeks. Kris was quiet for a moment, just looking, then he gently ran a finger across Eber’s entrance. He jumped a bit, but it felt--good. He waited. Kris repeated the movement, and this time Eber didn’t jump. After a few more feathery passes, Kris made tiny circles with his finger, and Eber couldn’t suppress a tiny moan.

“Have you ever,” Kris reached for the lube under the pillow, “thought about it? Maybe just a finger?”

And the answer was, well, not really. Eber’s fantasies were about pretty boys spreading their legs for him, not the other way around. He shook his head.

“It can feel really good. Let me show you.” Kris waited for permission. “Please? I’ll stop anytime you want me to.”

“As if I could deny you anything.”

With a grin, Kris drizzled lube over Eber’s balls and ran his fingers through it and down to his entrance. Eber kept his eyes trained on Kris’s face, lost already in the new sensation. When he felt the slick finger breaching him, he tightened momentarily, but he tried to relax for Kris, and he was rewarded with Kris’s “yeah, yeah, like that,” as he began tiny thrusts.

“Is it good? You want me to stop?” Kris asked, eyes black and voice hoarse.

“No, don’t stop, I--it’s good, Kris, it’s good.” He began to rock back on Kris’s finger, turned on by the sensation of Kris inside him and especially by the look on Kris’s face. “I want you to fuck me. I want to see your face when you fuck me.”

Kris froze, eyes wide, but then he nodded. “Two?”

“Yeah, baby, give me two. Get me ready to take your cock.” All at once, Eber wanted nothing more than to see Kris’s face as he fucked. “Gonna be so hot, baby. Give me your cock. Come on.”

Kris scrambled for the condoms, and with shaking fingers he sheathed himself, slicked himself with lube.

“Give it to me. Fuck me,” Eber ordered, and Kris lined up and began to ease in. Eber grabbed his hips and pulled, and with one exquisite slide Kris was hilt deep. “Oh, fuck, fuck,” Eber moaned, “yeah, come on, come on,” and Kris was thrusting. “So gorgeous, such a pretty little bitch when you fuck my ass.”

Kris didn’t last long, and soon he was spilling into the condom, eyes shut tight and head thrown back as he cried out in his release.

When Kris pulled out, Eber made short work of the condom, tying it off and tossing it into the wastebasket. He pulled out another condom and rolled it onto his erection as Kris watched, dazed. “On your knees. Hands on the headboard,” he ordered, and Kris eagerly did as he was told.

“Please, please, please,” Kris whispered, and then “yes, fuck, yes!” when he felt Eber’s hand smacking his ass, over and over until his flesh was stinging pink. With his other hand Eber worked Kris open, and when he was ready and begging, Eber grabbed his slim hips with both hands and fucked him until the headboard began to bang against the wall.

When they finally collapsed together, both exhausted and boneless, Eber nudged Kris playfully. “Did you plan that?”

“No way, man. I never thought about doing that. I like it the other way, a lot. But that was...wow.” He grinned. “I love it when you talk all filthy like that.”

“Hmmm. Only fair, I guess, since I was your first. And maybe,” Eber teased,” just maybe if you’re good, I’ll let you fuck me again sometime.”

Kris snuggled in. “Good. Bad. The way I see it, I’m in a win-win situation.”

“We both are, baby. We both are.”

 

\-----

 

When he was home, Eber threw himself into his work. He knew that staying on top of things would free him up to spend more time with his boy, and nothing made Eber happier these days than telling Kris he would be able to meet him for a few stolen hours. Because nothing made Kris happier. As much as Kris loved touring and performing, the road was hard and the road was lonesome.

“If you could just be here with me, in my hotel room every night, I’d be the happiest man on Earth,” Kris sighed to the phone. “The sheets are cold, and I got nobody to wash my back in the shower.”

Eber chuckled. “Only two more months, baby.”

“Too long.”

“Would it make you feel better to know that I can wash your back in El Paso?”

Kris whooped with joy. “You have no idea! That’s...six days from now! God, I love you, you have no idea.”

“I’m pretty sure I do, baby.”

“I’ll tell Claudia I’ll need off the radar time. She’s getting used to it, but she’ll never like it. Everyone knows I’m seeing someone, and they want to know who.” He didn’t tell Eber that most of them suspected, and blatantly implied, that it was Adam he was meeting.

Eber hesitated before saying, “Be careful about being followed, baby. We don’t want it to get out this way.”

“I know, I will.” They were quiet for a moment. They had already decided that, while Adam must be told, they would wait until after the tour. As much as Kris wanted it done, he couldn’t let Eber be alone during that time. He wanted to be with him for comfort during what would surely be a difficult time for Eber and Adam’s relationship. “Have you heard from him?” Kris asked quietly. He insisted on speaking about Adam openly, and while it was sometimes difficult, Eber appreciated that Kris wanted them to be as open and honest as possible with one another.

“Mostly through Neil. He’s thrown himself into writing, Neil says. Won’t talk about it. Neil’s worried.”

“I think...maybe you should go to him.”

“No.” Eber’s voice sounded sharper than he meant it to. He took a deep breath before he continued. “Kris, it would feel like a lie. It would be a lie, and I can’t. He has Neil and his mother, but--”

“Shh, I know, I’m sorry. I’m sorry. You’re right.

“If he comes to me, I’ll give him all the love I have, but I can’t lie to him anymore.”

Eber?”

“I’m here, baby.”

“It will be all right in the end. I know it will be. It’ll be worth it. I believe that.”

“I know it too. We just have to make it through this. And we will.”

\---

Eber was walking through the airport when a picture of Kris on a tabloid caught his eye. The headline read, “Former Idol’s Secret Love.” Fuck, thought Eber. Confident that no one knew who he was, Eber bought a copy along with a bottle of water and a Rolling Stone.

There were few facts inside--just a lot of innuendo, and several pictures, he noted, of Adam and Kris from their Idol days. He imagined the fallout when he and Kris went public. Too strange for the tabloids, he thought wryly. He tossed it in the trash can on his way to board the plane.

Eber got to the hotel in El Paso a few hours before Kris was due to meet him. He made the most of the time, setting up the room to be as comfortable as possible. He stocked the little refrigerator with Kris’s favorites, put on some relaxing music, and arranged for a massage table to be delivered to the room. When he got Kris’s message that he was on his way, he filled the huge tub with hot water and scented oils.

When Kris tapped on the door, Eber pulled him inside and drew him in for a long hug and kissed him tenderly. Then he pinned his hips against the door and, dropping to his knees, he undid Kris’s jeans. Kris was already half-hard. Half-hard became fully so in a matter of seconds as Eber tongued him and sucked him down. Kris came in record time.

“Now, that’s what I call a hello,” Kris gasped.

“What can I say? I missed you.”

\---

They soaked in the big tub together, Kris in front with his head resting on Eber’s chest.

“I feel so relaxed when I’m with you. I just want to run away to, like, Tahiti and do this forever.”

Eber kissed the top of his head. “You’d miss making music. And I’d miss watching you perform. You singing for an audience is one of the most erotic things I’ve ever seen. Can’t compare to you in my bed, though.” He trailed his fingers along Kris’s wet arms and watched his nipples harden. “Alright, we’re getting pruney. Time to get out, waterbaby.”

He dried himself and Kris off with a fluffy white towel and put on the royal blue silk robe Kris had sent him. Kris ran his hands up Eber’s arms, lingering on his biceps.

“I love you in this colour. When I saw it all I could think of was how sexy you would look in it.” He laughed. “The saleslady kept asking me if I didn’t want a small. I was afraid if I told her it was a gift, it would end up in the tabloids, so I just said I liked it roomy.”

One of Kris’s hands moved down to palm Eber’s cock through the silky material, but Eber said, “Not yet. On the table, baby. I’m not finished spoiling you.”

Kris pouted a little, but he was clearly pleased at the treatment. He gave Eber a gentle squeeze before he climbed onto the table.

“I don’t deserve you,” he moaned as Eber began kneading Kris’s muscles. His hands were big, and he was good with them, and before long Kris was completely relaxed.

Eber took his time, caressing every muscle, until at last his hands settled on Kris’s ass. It was a gorgeous thing, tiny, but round and firm, and Eber loved the feel of it.

“I know what you’re thinking,” Kris giggled.

“You think so?”

Kris didn’t answer, just wiggled a little until his legs were spread, and Eber could see his hole, a tight pink star. Eber groaned, then leaned down and bit Kris on his left ass cheek, not too hard, but hard enough to make Kris cry out in surprise. Then Eber’s tongue flicked across his opening, and he cried out again and again as Eber’s tongue made maddening little circles, teasing but never quite giving him what he craved. Kris tried to move back, desperate for more, but Eber pinned him to the table and continued his sweet torture until Kris was begging.

“Baby, all you had to do was ask,” Eber soothed, and then his tongue was plunging deep inside until Kris practically wept with relief.

Kris’s porn star moans had made Eber pretty hard and desperate himself. “How do you want it, baby?” he asked, and Kris gasped, “Bed, hands and knees,” scrambling to get into position. Kris loved to be fucked like this, hard and deep, and Eber loved watching Kris open up and take him.

“Fuck, how do you stay so tight, so fucking tight,” Eber moaned as he slid in inch by inch. “OK, baby?” he asked, voice tight with restraint, and Kris said, “Yeah, give it to me, fuck me with that fucking huge cock.”

Eber fucked him, and Kris kept begging for more until Eber pressed him flat against the bed and pounded into him until all Kris could do was chant “Yeah, yeah, just like that,” and then he couldn’t speak at all and he was biting the pillow to keep from screaming as he came.

Eber pulled out, ripped off the condom, and came in hot streaks on Kris’s back. “Bossy little bottom. I like it. But we both know you’re my boy.”

Eber cleaned him tenderly, examining the poor abused entrance with gentle fingers, relieved that there were no tears.

“I’m gonna feel you for days,” Kris said, clearly delighted by it.

“Is that what you were after?”

“I guess. I like it when I can feel you. It makes me feel...I don’t know, more settled, when I can feel you. Solid, safe...I don’t know how to explain it.”

Eber thought of the item hidden in his suitcase. He had been uncertain about giving it to Kris, but this helped him reach a decision.

“I think I understand, baby. I bought you a little present, and if you want, it might be something to help you feel that way, even when we can’t be together.”

Kris looked at him questioningly.

Eber continued, “If it’s not something you’re absolutely sure you want, that’s OK. Promise you’ll be completely honest with me, baby.”

Kris promised. Eber went to his suitcase and pulled out the bag. He hesitated a moment before returning to the bed.

Kris stared at it for a long moment. “Is that...” he breathed.

Eber nodded. “I bought it after you said you wanted to try some things. I wasn’t sure if you--”

“I do.” Kris sounded absolutely sure, and when Eber saw the look on his face, the excitement and the certainty and the happiness, he knew he had made the right call.

Kris reached out and stroked the thin circle of leather.

“I thought you could wear it sometimes, when you’re alone at night, and it would give you that secure feeling. And sometimes, if you want, we can play when we’re together. I thought you might like that. We need a safe word. If it’s ever too much, use the word and it stops immediately, no matter what. OK, baby?”

Kris nodded, then thought for a moment. “Cincinnati. That’s the word.”

“I’ll remember.”

“Put it on me?” Kris asked, and Eber did, fingers trembling as he fastened the collar around Kris’s neck. It was a thin band, but it had a good weight to it. Eber caught his breath at the way it looked against Kris’s throat, and he ran his finger underneath it, caressing Kris’s smooth, golden skin.

“I’m your boy,” Kris said, and Eber cradled him in his arms.

“Yes, baby. You are.”

 

 

 

\---

The rumors continued. There were blind items and innuendos in all the gossip rags, most of them pointing to Adam. It was agreed that Kris Allen was different these days, that he was glowing, confident, had a sexy swagger that had only been glimpsed in performance before. In interviews, he was his usual charming self, but bold too, flirting and joking in a way that was new. When asked about his love life, Kris smiled and said it was “perfect, and personal.” Only Eber knew the significance of the way Kris’s fingers played across his neck when he grinned into the camera.

One interviewer asked outright if there was anything to the Adam Lambert rumors. Kris said, “I love him like a brother, and I always will. But no, we’re not together.”

On the phone, Kris told Eber, “I got something today. Wanted it to be a surprise.”

“Oh, really?”

“Yep. Sending you a picture now.” Kris sounded a little nervous.

Eber waited for it to appear.

Eber’s eyes widened at the image: Kris’s bicep, now inked with a golden lion, its mane a mass of elegant swirls.

Eber couldn’t speak for a moment. “Kris. Kris I don’t...It’s beautiful. I love it, that you would...oh, baby, did it hurt?”

Kris laughed. “Yeah, it kind of did. But I really like it. I always kind of wanted one, but I never knew what to get. But then all of a sudden, I knew. It feels perfect.”

“So, I guess I should get one now. A big heart with ‘Kristopher’ across the middle.” They both laughed.

“It was just something I wanted to do. I’m glad you like it.” Kris’s voice was lower as he continued, “You have no idea how horny it made me, when the guy was doing it. Had to keep a jacket over my lap. I’m pretty sure Cale knew what was up, no pun intended.”

“Cale went with you?”

“Yeah. He wanted to know why a lion, but I just said I liked them, because they’re fierce and powerful. Which wasn’t a lie.”

Eber considered. The tattoo wasn’t in a location to be easily hidden, and it didn’t sound like Kris wanted to hide it anyway. There would be a lot of speculation about its significance.

“So right now,” Kris drawled, “I’m wearing the collar, and this tattoo, and nothing else.”

“Fuck,” Eber moaned, unfastening his pants and lying back on the bed. He imagined the way the tattoo would look, with Kris’s muscles rippling underneath it as he stroked himself. “You’re trying to drive me out of my mind.”

\---

Eber and Neil had always spent a good deal of time together. They enjoyed good-natured sparring and having long political discussions, and now, when so much was hanging in the balance, Neil was there for Eber in big way. Now, he was stretched out on Eber’s sofa.

“So how’s Kris?” Neil asked, and Eber was grateful for how easy it was for Neil to talk about the situation. It made it seem natural, real. OK.

“He gets lonesome on the road. We talk a lot, but...separation is hard for him.”

Neil nodded. “He’s a physical guy.”

Eber tried not to blush and failed.

“I didn’t mean--”

Neil grinned. “This is so cute. I never imagined it would be so fucking cute to see you crazy about someone. Judging from the latest pap shots of Kris’s arm, he’s pretty crazy about you, too. Looks pretty serious.”

Eber felt a ridiculous grin spreading over his face. “It is.” Then he grew serious. “We’re going to tell Adam as soon as the tour’s over. Kris wanted to wait until then so we could handle it together. Have you seen him, talked to him?”

“Yeah, he’s gone pretty much off the map, but I talk to him every day. It’s gonna be hard, not gonna lie, Dad. I even offered to go out with him, but he said no, said he’s not interested in hooking up. He sees Tommy and Monte, they’re doing some writing.” Neil paused. “He’s drinking more than I like to see. And Dad, be careful. He told me that he hired a PI to find out who Kris is involved with.”

“We figured that might happen. But no one knows but you, and really, who would even think to suspect? No, he won’t find out that way. We’re really careful when we meet up on the road.”

“He called Kris once, after he’d been drinking.”

“Yeah, Adam told me. He said Kris won’t tell him who it is, just that he feels safe and loved, and that he hopes Adam will be happy for him. Hell of a situation.”

It was, Eber thought. It really was. He was in love, but his son was in anguish.

\---

With only ten days left of the tour, Kris had his last hotel night. Eber checked into the same hotel, paying cash and using a different name, and texted the room number to Kris. YES! came the reply, followed by ILU , then 11:30ish, then ILU!!!!!!!!!!.

Kris slipped into the room and into Eber’s arms, and he stayed there for the longest time, just holding him, face buried in his chest. Eber stroked his back, then leaned down for a kiss, and as his hand moved to the back of Kris’s neck, he felt the band of leather. His pulse quickened.

“I want to play. Sir.” Kris spoke softly, his eyes lowered. “Please.”

Eber put his hand under Kris’s chin and waited until he looked in his eyes. “You’re sure?”

“Yes, I’m sure. I want it so bad.”

“What’s the word.”

“Cincinatti.”

“Promise me you’ll use it if you need to.”

“I promise.”

Eber let go of Kris and moved to the bed. He sat on the end of it. “Take off your clothes. Slowly.”

He watched as Kris began to shed his clothes, keeping his eyes lowered. When he was naked, Eber looked at him for a long time, savoring the sight. Finally, he said, “On your knees,” and Kris sank to his knees at once. Eber rose and moved to Kris. He ran his fingers underneath the collar and gave it a little tug. Then he released Kris and stood in front of him, the bulge of his erection right in front of Kris’s face. It was the last thing he saw before the blindfold was tied over his eyes.

Eber lifted Kris by the shoulder and led him to the bed, where he arranged him on hands and knees. “So pretty,” Eber murmured. “So pretty it would be a shame not to share. So I have some men coming to see how fucking pretty my little slut is. Do you mind?” Eber chuckled. “Not that it matters. You have no say in the matter.”

Kris heard the snap of the lube bottle opening. “Before they come, I want to make sure you’re wet and ready. In case I decide to let them fuck you.” A long, slick finger entered Kris, too quickly and almost too much.

“Thank you, sir,” he gasped. The finger twisted, and almost immediately there was another. scissoring, and Kris cried out. The fingers didn’t falter, just began thrusting.

“Tight. Someone’s been a good boy. Saving your tight ass just for me.”

“Yes, Sir.” Kris was gasping, but he managed to get the words out. At once the fingers stopped, and Kris felt something else at his entrance, something cold and smooth.

“This will keep you nice and open until I decide who I want to fuck you.” He twisted the plug, making Kris cry out again. “Or maybe I’ll let all of them fuck you. Would you like that, my pretty slut?” Eber’s voice was casual. Kris heard the sound of a zipper opening, then the sound of Eber’s clothes landing on the floor. “All of them are big, tall men with big, hard cocks. I know that’s what you like.”

“Yes,” Kris whispered. “Like you.”

“First I’ll let you suck them. I want to watch your lips wrapped around all those cocks.” Kris felt a hand on the collar, and he was guided to the floor, to his knees again, and he felt a hot length brush against his cheek. “Hands on your thighs,” came a whisper, and Kris did as he was told and was rewarded with a mouthful of cock. He moaned and greedily sucked, but it was difficult without the use of his hands. He felt hands in his hair, and he held still while his mouth was fucked. It was silent then, save for the sound of sucking and Kris’s moans. Kris’s knees ached, his jaw ached, and his own cock was throbbing, but it felt amazing. He shifted slightly and was reminded of the plug buried deep in his ass.

There was a tug, and the cock fell from his swollen lips.

“Was it good cock? Hmm?” Eber asked. “I think you liked sucking his cock. Naughty slut.” Kris whimpered as he was hauled up on the bed, ass up.

He felt the plug twist again before it began thrusting in and out. “You’d like to suck cock while someone fucks you up the ass, wouldn’t you?” The plug came out then and was soon replaced by something much bigger, a real cock, huge and relentless. And then there was nothing but the slapping of skin on skin. Just before Kris came, Eber ripped the blindfold from Kris’s eyes, and Kris looked over his shoulder into Eber’s eyes as he spilled into Eber’s hand. “I love you, baby,” Eber gasped as he thrust one last time and came deep inside Kris.

A few minutes later, Kris watched as Eber removed the condom. “When can we stop using those?” he asked. “Do I need to get tested? I want to feel your come inside me.”

Eber disposed of the condom and drew Kris close. “I want that too. We can both get tested.” He kissed Kris’s hair and thought about what it meant. It meant a total commitment to monogamy. Looking into Kris’s sweet brown eyes, Eber knew he wanted that more than anything in the world.

 

\-----

Nine days. It went by like nothing. Nine days of sweet anticipation, phone calls, whispered promises.

Nine days of nerve-wracking fear.

Because in nine days the tour would be over. And in nine days, they would no longer have a reason not to tell Adam.

Eber kept busy during those nine days. Kris didn’t have a place of his own, and he wanted to fix up his apartment to suit Kris’s needs. He bought a bigger coffee pot, new bath towels, a down coverlet. Maybe, he thought, they could get a bigger place soon, one with room for a studio. Eber imagined a home filled with Kris’s music. He couldn’t imagine anything better than that.

They both had gotten tested, and with any luck the results would be back in time for their reunion. Eber had never barebacked, and the thought of Kris hot and tight around him, with no barriers whatsoever, drove him wild. Kris delighted in how incoherent just talking about it made Eber, and he knew that the dirtier he talked, the more it drove Eber crazy.

“You gonna stick that long, thick cock deep inside me? Yeah, I wanna ride you, take it all til you fill me up with your hot come,” Kris said. “Shoot it deep, wanna feel you dripping out of me. I’ll fuck you, too, if you let me, fuck you so good, will you let me?”

“Yes, baby, anything you want, so good when you fuck me,” Eber gasped as he came into his own tight fist, and Kris followed close behind.

They lingered on the phone. “Do you like dogs?” Kris sounded hopeful, a little shy.

Eber imagined Kris with a big golden retriever, playing Frisbee in the park. “I love dogs,” he assured him, and he could practically hear Kris’s smile over the phone.

___

 

When Adam showed up at Eber’s door, it was a surprise and yet not really unexpected. Neil had said Adam didn’t want to be alone much these days. He had taken to spending his nights at Monte’s or Tommy’s or Alisan’s, or sometimes at Leila’s house. He didn’t want to overstay his welcome anywhere, so he moved around, using his own home as a studio and closet more than anything. Really, Eber thought, he had always been that way. He remembered that even after they had moved into a house big enough for the boys to have their own rooms, Adam had made excuses to crash with Neil, and Leila and Eber would often find them cuddled up together under Neil’s Star Wars sheets. These days, Adam didn’t feel like having company in his bed, but he hated the loneliness that came with night.

“Maybe I could stay here a couple of nights,” Adam said, toying with his rings, dark smudges making his blue eyes stand out even without eyeliner.

“Of course, son,” Eber said, even while he wondered if this would somehow make Adam hate him even more when he learned the truth just days from now. “Hey, why don’t I call Neil and have him come with us to Babymoon for something to eat.” Adam was looking alarmingly thin these days, and It would do him good to get out--and Neil could be counted on to lighten things up.

Adam shrugged. “Whatever.”

Eber called Neil, then made reservations on his phone. “I’m going to grab a shower, OK? Neil will be here in half an hour.”

“OK.” Adam was absently flipping through channels and drinking a scotch and soda he’d poured himself while Eber was occupied.

Eber quickly showered and changed, willing himself just take things one day at a time. He was in the bedroom when he heard his phone ring.

It was the ringtone he used for Kris.

Eber froze, blood rushing from his face as he remembered that he had left his phone in the living room after he had made reservations. He moved quickly from the bedroom, but he was too late. Adam sat on the sofa staring at the phone, the word “Kris” on the screen. He looked up at Eber, puzzled, then back at the phone, the strains of “Maybe I’m Amazed” still playing.

“Adam.” Eber’s heart was in his throat.

Adam stared at the phone until the song abruptly stopped. He shook his head, as if to clear it. “Why...why would he be--” Adam suddenly stood and moved to manipulate the screen, and Eber knew exactly what he was doing, felt powerless to stop as Adam went into Eber’s saved messages and scrolled through the many intimate words that Eber had been fool enough to keep, and then the picture of Kris was on the screen, the one with his hand in his pants, his head thrown back, and the caption “all for you.”

Adam dropped the phone then as if it had caught fire. “What the fuck?” he shouted. “What the fuck, dad?! What the fuck did you DO?!” He glared at Eber with angry, desperate eyes. “Oh, god, say something, for fuck’s sake, tell me what the fuck is going on here!”

Eber reached out to Adam, and Adam pushed his hand away. “Don’t fucking touch me. What did you do to him. What the FUCK did you do?” He spat the words out as the phone began to ring again, and they both lunged to pick it up from the floor. Adam was faster. He answered the call, but didn’t speak. Kris would assume that Eber was answering.

Eber didn’t hear the words Kris said over the phone, but he could imagine the kind of intimate greeting Adam heard. He watched his son’s face crumble, watched the tears spill from his eyes before he threw the phone as hard as he could against the wall.

“Adam, please listen to me,” Eber began, tears in his own eyes as he reached out to his son, but Adam swung blindly, unsteady from the scotch, hitting Eber hard on the jaw just as Neil came in.

“Adam!” Neil cried, grabbing his brother from behind.

Eber felt the sensation in his arm first, tight and insistent, then it seemed to travel up until the heavy, searing pain was in his chest. It felt like a tremendous weight was pushing him down, and he fell to his knees, clutching his chest, unaware of Neil’s arms around him as Adam called 911.

___

 

There were voices in the distance. Outside the room? Where was he, anyway? Eber felt lightheaded, dizzy, and he opened his mouth and heard his voice croak, “Hello?”

“You’re OK, Dad.” It was Neil, sitting by his bed. Neil took his hand. “You’re in the hospital, you had a heart attack, but the doctors say you’re going to be fine.”

It started to come back to Eber then, the crushing pain in his arm and chest, and before that...oh, god.

“Adam. Where’s Adam, is he OK? I need to--” Eber tried to sit up, but Neil gently and firmly pushed him back against the pillows.

“Shh,” Neil soothed, “Dad, I need you to stay calm, OK? Adam’s right here.” He motioned to the corner of the room. There, in a big recliner, Adam was sleeping. Even in the dim early morning light, it was evident that Adam was a mess. His face was red and puffy, with streaks of makeup around his eyes. “He wouldn’t leave. He’s been here all night. He was pretty hysterical, so the doctor gave him a sedative.”

Eber tore his eyes away from Adam and focused his attention on Neil. He looked pretty rough, too. Eber reached out and brushed a curly lock from Neil’s forehead. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry to put you through all this.”

Neil shook his head. “I’m just so glad you’re all right. I was pretty scared there, you know?” His eyes filled with tears. “I love you, Dad.”  
“I love you too, son. Both of my boys. More than I can say.” Eber looked at Adam again, still sleeping in the corner.

As if he could read Eber’s mind, Neil said softly, “He hasn’t said anything about it. About Kris. All he wanted was for you to be OK. He called 911, stayed with you even in the back of the ambulance.” Neil chuckled softly, “I think that’s against the rules, but even the EMT’s can’t say no to Adam. He was pretty fierce, Dad.”

Eber smiled at Neil’s words, then flinched with pain. He remembered the blow to his jaw and reached up to feel the swelling, the cut on his lip. “Fierce,” he repeated. “I had it coming. I deserved that and more.”

“No.” Neil’s voice was level. “All you did was fall in love. You never meant to, or to hurt Adam. Sometimes things just happen, and with time, Adam will understand that.”

Eber sincerely hoped so. But he had his doubts.

“Dad.” Neil glanced at Adam to make sure he was still asleep. “There’s something else. Last night, over the phone, Kris heard.”

“Fuck, no--”

“He heard what Adam said to you, and he heard the call to 911...Dad, he’s here, at the hospital. I talked to him, he was really scared, but he knows you’re going to be fine. It’s just...” Neil trailed off. He didn’t need to voice what they were both thinking. How could Kris come to Eber with Adam here in the room?

Adam stirred then, stretched and slowly opened his eyes. He looked confused for a moment, rubbing his eyes. Then he took in the sight of Eber awake, and relief washed over his face, followed by something else, and then a mask settled over Adam’s face, cold and icy.

“Adam. Thank you for being here. I--”

“I’m glad you’re awake, Dad.” Adam wouldn’t meet his eyes. “I--I need to go now.” He stood and left the room.

Almost immediately, there was a commotion outside the door. A nurse’s harried voice said, “I’m sorry, we can only allow family inside, no exceptions, even for cele--”

“I am family!” Kris’s voice, insistent.

“No, he’s not.” Adam’s voice this time, sharp and cold.

Kris’s voice was calm and steady when he spoke. “He’s my partner. Please. Please let me see him.”

After what seemed like a long moment, the nurse opened the door. Kris came in, all huge, frightened eyes and messy hair, and he went straight to Eber’s side, burying his face in his neck before he tenderly kissed Eber’s dry lips, gently stroked his hair away from his face.

“I was so scared,” Kris whispered. “I can’t lose you. Love you so much.”

From the doorway, Adam watched, face unreadable, then he turned and strode out of the hospital.

___

Once he gained access to Eber’s room, Kris would not leave it. He stayed with him for the next two days, tending to him. Kris saw to it that Eber ate, and he led him to the shower to help him bathe, pointedly ignoring the swelling between Eber’s legs. “Plenty of time for that later,” Kris said, and Eber laughed at how prim Kris sounded. Eber protested that he wasn’t helpless, but he kind of enjoyed the TLC, not to mention seeing this take-charge Kris in action.

At night, Kris curled up beside Eber in the hospital bed, and the hospital professionals were bound to be gossiping about them in the cafeteria. “I really don’t care,” Kris said. “Let them broadcast it on CNN, I’m staying.”

Kris wrote down notes when the doctor gave instructions before release, nodding his head seriously and asking questions that would never have occurred to Eber.

“Sexual activity can be safely resumed in three to four weeks,” said Dr. Ellis. “Just as with any physical exercise, it’s a good idea to start slowly and ease into more, uh, strenuous activities.” Kris wrote down 4 weeks while Eber looked anywhere but at the doctor’s face.

Neil drove them home, and Kris insisted that Eber rest right away. he was tired, so he didn’t protest too much, but as they lay together, Eber confided, “I feel so old. I worry that there will be too much of this, you know? You having to take care of me. You shouldn’t have to do that.”

Kris kissed away his worry lines. “In sickness and in health,” he said softly. Before it could get too mushy, Kris continued, “But we’re gonna take such good care of you, sickness won’t stand a chance. That means you’re gonna start coming to the gym with me.”

“Oh, really?”

“Yes, really. Oh, and speaking of health. I got my test results back. Clean as can be.”

“Mmm, me too,” Eber said, reaching for Kris.

“Four weeks!” Kris said firmly.

“Three or four. She said three or four.”

“We’ll see.” Eber could tell Kris was wavering. “But that’s still three weeks away. And until then, I have everything I need right here.” He rested his head on Eber’s chest.

“Me too, baby. Me too.”

 

\-----

 

For the first two days, Kris didn’t appear to sleep. He said he did, but every time Eber woke up, he found Kris gazing at him, fingers carding through Eber’s thick hair.

Eber traced a finger along the purple shadows under Kris’s eyes. “Rest, baby. I’m not an invalid. I feel great, the doctor says I’m going to be totally fine. You’re kind of freaking me out.” He spoke lightly, but there was some truth to what he was saying.

“I know you are, I know it, it’s just...” Kris pressed a kiss to Eber’s cheek, then one to his lips. “I’ve been thinking a lot, you know? About how precious this is. What we have. And I don’t want to waste or miss a second of it.” He settled against Eber’s side. “I think about how it’s kind of a miracle that we’re even together, you know? Against all the odds. Before, I was lost. I didn’t know what I wanted, really, I just thought I wanted to get laid, that having lots of sex would make me the ‘real me’. Sex with men. I thought that would be freedom.”

Kris looked into Eber’s eyes as he continued. “That first night, that’s what you were to me. A strong, sexy man who could take me, and that’s what I wanted from you. But then, what came after...” Kris’s eyes were wet and his voice was breaking, but he continued. “I don’t feel lost anymore. Now I know that I’m really just the same person I was before, that being gay and wanting a man doesn’t change anything about me deep down. I still want the same things, you know? A family, and a home, and a simple life with music and love.”

“So much love,” promised Eber. “You’ll always have those things with me, baby. All of them.”

“You helped me believe in God again,” Kris said simply, and Eber held him tight, because there were just no words. Finally, in Eber’s arms, Kris slept.

\--------

Eber convinced Kris that they both needed to get back to work, and reluctantly Kris agreed. While Eber was gone during the day, Kris spent time writing, and sometimes he made day trips to collaborate with other songwriters, but he would never leave Eber alone for a night. “I need to be with you at night,” Kris said. “No arguments.”

True to his word, he insisted Eber go to the gym with him, and in the evenings they went for long walks on the beach. Eber noted a little sadly that the pizza and Chinese takeout menus had disappeared from the kitchen drawer, but he had to admit he felt better than he had felt in years.

Weeks passed, but Kris was still reluctant to do more than hold and kiss Eber at night.

“Let me love you, baby,” Eber said low into his ear, and Kris shivered, but he said, “Not yet.”

“It’s been four weeks now. I promise, it’s OK. We can take it slow and easy if you want, but I need to make love to you. Let me make love to you, Kris. Please say yes.”

“I--”

“Say yes,” Eber whispered against his ear again, and Kris turned to him and said, “Yes, yes, yes,” and Eber slipped his hand down to wrap around Kris’s already hard and leaking cock.

“There’s my boy,” Eber smiled against his shoulder, and Kris could only whimper as Eber masterfully stroked him to a quick climax. “Now you’ll last when I fuck you bare,” Eber observed as he licked Kris’s come from his belly, and Kris could only gasp, “Want you, want you so bad,” as Eber reached for the bottle of lube.

Eber handed the bottle to Kris, and Kris’s fingers were trembling a little as he opened it and poured the slippery fluid in his hand. Kris took a moment to just appreciate Eber’s cock, the way it curved up against his stomach, so thick and long. When Kris began to slick him up, Eber had to close his eyes and concentrate on not coming then and there. It had been so long to wait, but Kris had been firm about waiting, and collar or no, Kris was stubborn when he made up his mind about something. Eber loved that about his boy.

“I’ve thought about this so much. Feeling you inside me, bare.” Kris’s voice was hoarse.

Eber chuckled. “So you thought about it all that time you made me wait?” Then he rolled over, pinned Kris to the bed. “I thought about it too.” Eber lifted Kris’s legs and teased Kris’s hole with the head of his cock before pressing into him.

The long, hot slide was exquisite torture. Kris was as tight as ever around him, and there was the added heat of his body, the amazing friction.

Kris’s eyes were open wide, and all he could say was “Oh, oh, oh,” as he wrapped his legs tight around Eber, holding him still for a moment. They locked eyes, and Kris raised a hand to slide it into Eber’s hair, holding tight to the thick strands.

When Kris nodded, Eber began thrusting, long and slow. He had promised Kris he would take it easy at first, and he kept his word. Kris moved with him, undulating underneath him, pushing up to meet each thrust and get just a little more.

“Wanna ride you now,” Kris gasped, and they shifted until Eber was flat on his back with Kris straddling him. Kris rocked back and forth at first, then began to ride Eber in earnest. Kris in ecstasy was the most beautiful thing Eber could imagine. He cried out again and again as he impaled himself on Eber’s cock, his head thrown back to expose the gorgeous line of his neck. Kris was already hard again. Eber loved that about Kris, that he stayed hard while he was being fucked. Some boys didn’t, but Kris got off on the feeling of a cock up his ass, and the sight of Kris’s rock hard cock while he fucked himself on Eber was the sexiest thing ever.

“You look like a fucking porn star,” Eber moaned as Kris began to stroke himself fast and hard.

Kris laughed breathlessly. “You make me feel like one,” he gasped, “and I love it.” He leaned down to lick Eber’s neck, then he began to ride him harder and faster until he spilled all over his hand and Eber’s stomach. Eber dug in his heels and grabbed Kris’s hips as he shot into Kris in long, hot, pulsing waves.

Kris lay against Eber’s chest, gasping for breath for a moment. When Eber shifted so that he slid out of Kris, Kris whimpered at the loss until Eber pressed two long fingers into him.

“I want to see you,” Eber murmured when Kris’s breathing slowed. “Will you let me look?” Kris slid off of Eber and lay on his stomach, and Eber sat up and ran his hands slowly up Kris’s thighs until they rested on firm ass cheeks. He gently opened Kris up and gazed at him, at his hole, stretched and pink, and the traces of come leaking from him. ”Kris,” he breathed, “so gorgeous, baby.”

Kris stretched like a cat, a self-satisfied little smirk on his face. “I could feel it, pulsing inside me. So good.” The smile disappeared and was replaced with concern. “How do you fe--”

“I feel fine, baby. Amazing. Perfect. What do I need to do, fuck you up against the wall to prove it?”

Eber had to laugh at the conflicting emotions evident on Kris’s face. “Soon, baby, but I promise not to overdo it. Trust me?” Kris nodded and tucked his face in against Eber’s neck. “I have every intention of being with you a long, long time.”

________________

 

The days were golden in so many ways, but there was an ever-present cloud; they both felt it.

Adam was never far from Eber’s mind. Neil continued to provide him reassurance that Adam was alright, but Kris knew Eber’s calls to Adam went unanswered. Kris’s heart ached for Eber, and on father’s day, when he called his own dad, he took care to do it when Eber was out of the apartment. He knew it was a rough day for Eber, and he tried to fill it with as many distractions as he could. Kris was good at distractions.

When Kris had come out to his parents, shortly after Eber’s scare, they had been openly shocked and things had been tense between Kris and Neil for a while. Kim said it was the age thing that took the most getting used to, because she had already suspected that Kris had feelings for other boys in the past. “Honey, it’s just that we want what’s best for you...if you had brought home a woman twice your age we would have had the same reaction.”

“I know, Mama. But you can’t choose who you love. And I love him. Mama, I love him more than I can say, and he...he cherishes me. I feel blessed to have this in my life, and I thank God for him every day.”

There was silence on the other end of the line, then Kris heard the tell tale sniffle. “Well. He does work in mysterious ways.”

Slowly they let the other people close to them know, and the reaction was the same from most corners. Initial disbelief, then shock, then gradual acceptance. It appeared in the gossip rags, and Kris lost a lot of Twitter followers, but all in all the response was less than they imagined.

Kris had settled into Eber’s little apartment, but it was a tight fit. They began to talk about getting a bigger place together, with room for a studio for Kris.

“I want a house,” said Kris. “Maybe near the beach?”

Even after all they had been through, Eber thrilled at the thought of buying a house with Kris. It was a huge step. Kris had never wavered in his desire to be with Eber and Eber alone, and Eber felt certain that he was the luckiest man in the world.

They looked at a lot of houses before they found the right one, but they both knew it as soon as they saw it. “Home,” Kris said simply as he slipped his hand into Eber’s.

“Home,” Eber agreed. As far as he was concerned, a tent was home as long as Kris was sharing it with him.

_____________________

 

As he rode the elevator up to the recording studio, Kris’s mind was preoccupied with the song he would be recording that day. It was a love song, a far cry from anything that had been on his first album. This song was one he had written for Eber. It was called, _My One True_ , and he while Eber had been around much of the time when Kris was composing the melody, Kris had kept the lyrics as a surprise.

Kris was imagining the look on Eber’s face when he heard it for the first time. His eyes would glow, Kris thought, and they would make love.

Kris still had a silly, dreamy smile on his face when the elevator doors opened and he found himself face to face with Adam.

“Oh, shit,” said someone, but it wasn’t Adam. Adam only stared at him, face going pale, then bright pink in an instant.

“Adam,” Kris began, but he couldn’t think what else to say.

Adam’s turned to Lane. “Stairs,” he said, and he turned to leave.

Kris watched his broad back for a second, a panicky feeling rising up. _This is it_ , he thought. _Maybe my only chance to make things right. Or at least better._

“Adam!” he called, voice loud and forceful.

Adam paused, but he didn’t turn around.

“Adam, please, I need to. We need to talk. OK?” he directed the question to Lane, who hesitated, then nodded.

“OK, yes, you really do. Something needs to...but not here.” Lane opened the door of a vacant office and turned on the light. “In here. I’ll wait outside.”

Adam started to protest, but Lane spoke firmly. “Adam this needs to be confronted, and now is as good a time as any. Keep it civil, hear him out.” She softened. “Adam, please? This is good. We leave tomorrow, and maybe this will help, closure, something.”

Kris entered the room first, Adam followed stiffly, and Lane closed the door, leaving them alone.

They stared at each other for a long minute. Adam looked stubborn, proud, wounded. Kris drew a deep breath. This was his friend, and he was hurting. He wanted to hold him close, comfort him, but that wasn’t a good idea at present.

“I’m sorry, Adam.”  
Adam’s eyes blazed for a moment, then went cold.

“Oh? And what, exactly, are you sorry for?” He didn’t wait for Kris to respond. “Sorry for lying to me? Making me feel like a fucking idiot? Sorry for breaking me?” Adam’s voice quavered on the last words and his eyes became bright with tears he was determined to hold back.

“I’m sorry for everything. I’m sorry that I’ve lost one of the best friends I ever had. I’m sorry that this has come between you and your dad.”

Adam shook his head and said nothing.

Kris continued. “I swear to you, Adam, no one ever wanted to hurt you. That was the last thing either of us wanted. It just happened, and we couldn’t help it.”

Adam snorted.

“It’s true.” Kris’s voice was soft but sure. “Adam, it’s crazy, what happened. But at the same time, it makes perfect sense.”

Adam gaped at him. “Makes sense? The Hell, Kris. What the fuck part of this makes sense?”

Kris was quiet for a moment, weighing his words carefully. “That night when you sent Eber to pick me up at that club. That’s when it started.”

Adam flinched.

“You saved me that night. In more ways than one. Adam, I was there because I thought you didn’t want me. I thought--”

“I was a fucking idiot. I was just so afraid I would be some gay experiment for you, and you wouldn’t want to look at me after. God, if only I had believed you, we would be together now, and none of this--”

“Adam. Just...just think for a minute, OK? What if we had gotten together?”

Adam looked confused. “What do you--”

“Think about it, Adam. Yeah, we loved each other. I still do, and I always will, no matter what. You helped me to see something about myself, to learn who I really am and embrace that. “ He took a deep breath and continued. “But if we had gotten together, where would we be now? Yeah, the sex would have been amazing. But as far as being together, sharing a life...we want different things, Adam.”

Adam started to argue, but Kris continued. “Think about what your life is like, Adam. The sold out arenas, the parties, the fame...that’s you. That’s what you thrive on. Me, I like to stay home and watch football, mess around with my guitar, go to church sometimes. That’s me. That’s who I am. That’s what I want. Adam, we love each other, and yeah, I was attracted to you. Who wouldn’t be? I mean....” Kris grinned sheepishly. “But you and me, we would never work out like that. You know?”

Adam furrowed his brow and said nothing.

“Me and your dad, we want the same things. Just a quiet life. And Adam,” Kris’s voice broke, “it’s tearing him up, what’s happened with you two. He loves you and Neil more than anything in the world.”

The tears in Adam’s eyes finally flowed, and he brushed them away with the back of his hand. before he could say anything, Lane tapped on the door.

“Guys? I’m sorry. Bruce says they need Kris in the studio right now, and Adam, we’re already late.”

Kris stepped forward and put a hand on Adam’s arm. Adam didn’t pull away.

__________________

Kris was in the studio all afternoon. When he got home, Eber met him at the door and caught him in a tight hug.

“You won’t believe this. Adam was here! He just left. It was...well, of course it was different, but it’s a start.”

“Babe, that’s so awesome!”

“He’s leaving tomorrow for some European shows, but he said he would keep in touch while he’s away.”

Kris took a moment to soak in Eber’s smile, the hopeful look on his face. Kris rose on his tiptoes to place a kiss on Eber’s smiling lips. He loved him so much in that moment that words alone could never express it. He picked up his guitar and led Eber to the sofa. “Hey, sit down, babe. I have a song I want to play for you.”

The look on Eber’s face when Kris sang _My One True_ was everything Kris had hoped for.

 

_________________

 

When moving day arrived, a professional delivered Kris’s things from storage to the new house, but they enlisted friends to help them move the contents of the small apartment. It meant a lot to Kris when his band showed up. They hadn’t really spent much time with Eber, and he knew that his coming out had been an adjustment for them.

Kale especially had needed a little time before he could look at Kris without turning pink and stammering. Finally, Kris had pulled him aside after a rehearsal and said, “Is this gonna be a problem?”

Kale finally looked at Kris and said, “No, man. You know I love you. It’s just...I guess I...I mean...”

“You’re wondering if I was ever hot for you, checking you out,” Kris stated flatly. “Well,” Kris looked Kale up and down consideringly. “You are pretty damn hot. But I don’t think of my brothers that way, OK? And besides, you’re kind of pathetically straight, man.”

Kale had to laugh at that. “Yeah.” He grew serious. “It’s great to see you happy like this.”

Now Kale was sitting on a stack of boxes having a beer with Eber, talking earnestly about something. Kris just hoped it wasn’t him.

When everything had been lugged in, they ordered pizza and had what Kris referred to as their first dinner party. Eber sat beside Kris, arm draped casually around his shoulder, and under the table Kris’s hand rested possessively on Eber’s thigh. He knew they were getting a lot of “Aww, aren’t they cute” glances, but he didn’t care.

When everyone had gone, Eber turned to his boy, who was pink and mellow from exertion of the day and the several beers he’d had with the guys.

Kris winked. “Hey, gorgeous.” And even though Eber had never thought of himself that way before, he believed it when it came from Kris; Kris who looked at him with lust-darkened eyes, who reached for him as if only he could satisfy Kris’s every need. “Want to go upstairs and try out the new bed?”

“Hmm.” Eber considered Kris for moment, his dusty t-shirt and sweat-damp hair. “You’re awfully dirty. I don’t know if such a dirty boy should get in that nice, clean bed.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out the thin leather band. Kris’s eyes widened, and he immediately fell to his knees. Eber noted the way Kris’s eyes dropped to the floor, the way his breath became shallow, almost panting. Eber approached him slowly, stopping when his crotch was inches away from Kris’s face. Kris whimpered and leaned forward, nuzzling at Eber and inhaling the scent of him.

Eber petted Kris’s hair for a moment, then grasped a handful and pulled his head back. He admired Kris’s full lips, the line of his jaw, his lashes fanned out beneath his closed eyes. Eber ran a finger down Kris’s neck, just to see him shudder.

It had been a long time since they had played like this. Kris had been afraid after the hospital scare that it would be too much. “The doctor said to take it slow, and I don’t think she has any idea exactly how, um, intense things can get with us.” Eber had found the collar hidden in the back of the closet when he was packing.

As Eber began to clasp the collar around Kris’s neck, Kris’s shaking hand stopped him. He looked up at Eber with questioning eyes.

“It’s OK, baby,” Eber said gently. “I promise. Let me take care of you.”

After a moment, Kris nodded, moved his hand back to his thigh, and Eber fastened the collar.

Kris’s eyes were fixed on the bulge between Eber’s legs. He licked his lips and reached out to him before he remembered. He returned his hand to his thigh. “Sorry, Sir,” he whispered.

“Greedy boy.”

“Yes, Sir.”

“Do you know, Kristopher, what happens to greedy boys?”

Kris moaned. He knew.

“Lift your arms,” Eber directed, and when Kris did, Eber pulled his t-shirt over his head and tossed it aside. “Now take off your pants.” Kris quickly stood and did as he was told. His briefs did little to contain his hard cock. Eber ran his finger along the crease of Kris’s thigh, grazing his balls lightly, then moved his finger up to the damp spot. “What’s this?” he asked softly.

Kris tried to press himself closer, to get more pressure from Eber’s hand, but Eber kept the pressure light as he traced circles around the head of Kris’s cock through the wet cotton.

“Are you hard for me, baby? Hm? “

“Yes, sir. So hard for you, want you, want you so bad, please,” Kris babbled.

Eber hummed approval. “Such a little slut for me.”

“Yes, only you, please, Sir, let me suck you.”

“You want to put that dirty mouth on my cock? Is that what you want?” Eber touched Kris’s mouth, and immediately Kris sucked Eber’s fingers into his mouth, sucking and licking. “I’ll have to think about that, baby.” Eber removed his fingers. “Bend over that stack of boxes and spread you legs.”

Kris did. Eber noticed the way Kris braced himself, taking care to flex his arm muscles for Eber’s benefit.

“Christ, but you’re a gorgeous thing,” Eber couldn’t help saying. Kris arched his back, and Eber could see his opening, tight and pink.

Eber began to undress. He took his time about it, knowing full well that Kris was hyper aware of every sound, of his zipper coming down and the rustle of his clothes landing on the floor.

“What do you want, baby? Tell me.”

“Your cock,” Kris rasped. “Hard and fast, want it in me.”

Eber chuckled. “My boy knows what he wants. I like to hear it. In fact,” he continued, “you can be as loud as you want. No close neighbors here. No one to hear you beg and moan when I stick my tongue in your tight ass.”

Eber knelt behind Kris, took his firm, round ass cheeks in his hands, and licked. Eber growled and buried his face deep, loving the taste of Kris, the heat, and the desperate sounds he made. Kris had long since gotten over his initial embarrassment about being rimmed. He shamelessly reached back, opened himself even wider. “Yeah, like that, fuck, so good, yeah.”

One of Kris’s hands moved, and he began to fuck himself with his finger, Eber’s tongue sliding against it. Eber positioned himself lower so he could gently tongue Kris’s balls while he watched him work himself open, adding fingers until he was grinding down against three, still bent over the stack of boxes.

Eber sat back to enjoy the show for a moment. “That’s right, baby, open yourself up for me.” He fished a lube packet from the pocket of his discarded jeans. As much as he was enjoying this, he didn’t want Kris to come too soon. “Enough,” he directed, and Kris stopped. He returned his hands to his original position, bracing himself against the boxes.

“Did you think I was going to fuck you over those boxes, baby?”

Kris froze, then looked over his shoulder at Eber, eyes desperate and a little uncertain. “Please. Please, Sir, please, please, _please_!”

Eber ran a soothing hand down Kris’s back and pulled him up, turning him to face him. “I’m sorry, baby. I’m not going to do that.”

He grinned wickedly, kissed Kris slow and dirty, then backed him up until he was against the wall. “Stay.” He pinned Kris’s hands firmly to the wall, then ripped open the lube packet and slicked himself as Kris watched. Eber reached his hand back to wipe the remaining lube over Kris’s crack, then positioned his hands under Kris’s arms and suddenly lifted him, slamming him against the wall.

“Hang on tight, baby.” Kris clutched Eber’s shoulders and scrambled to wrap his legs around his waist. Eber lifted his ass with one hand, and with the other he lined his cock up with Kris’s hole.

The slide happened fast, almost too fast, and Eber was enveloped in a hot vice, vaguely aware of Kris screaming, “Yes! Oh, fuck, yes!” Eber found his footing and began thrusting, short but amazing, into that tight heat. Kris was gone in a minute, cock spurting come between them without ever being touched, and Eber buried himself deep and let go, panting against Kris’s neck. Kris clung to him, little sobs shaking his body, and Eber carried him to the nearby sofa and sat with Kris still wrapped around him, his softening cock still inside Kris’s body. He held him and soothed him as he came down from the orgasm, warming Kris in his big arms.

‘It’s OK, baby,” he soothed. “I’m here.”

“Love you. Love you so much,” Kris said over and over, until at last he gave in to sleep, his head resting on Eber’s shoulder.

Eber waited until he was sure Kris was asleep before he moved him. He felt a pang of loss when he slipped out of Kris, but he knew they needed a more comfortable place to sleep. He carried Kris upstairs, laid him on the clean white bed, and gently cleaned him with a warm, damp towel. He took a quick shower before he climbed in the bed beside Kris, who was still sleeping soundly.

He unfastened the collar from Kris's neck, then reached back to put it in the drawer of the bedside table.

 

Eber spooned in behind Kris and pulled him close. “Welcome home, baby,” he whispered. “Welcome home.”

_____________________________

 

“Happy birthday, man I love.”

Eber opened his eyes and tried to roll over, but Kris held him facing forward, gently biting his shoulder. “Shh. Be still. I have to give you my present.”

Now, this was a great way to wake up.

Eber smiled and pushed back against Kris, hot and hard against his back.

“You’re not going to work today,” Kris announced. “I called Karen.” Eber felt Kris’s callused fingers trailing down his side, then his hand gently resting on his hip. “This,” he slapped Eber’s ass, hard, “is all mine today.”

Eber let out a little gasp in surprise. “Kris.”

“That’s right, honey. Just relax.” Kris nipped playfully at his earlobe, and Eber took a deep breath. Relax, he told himself. Just give in. It wasn’t really in his nature to be the submissive one, but he trusted Kris. And he was honest when he told Kris that he liked it those times when Kris had fingered him, fucked him, even. But those times, Kris had still deferred, asked permission and let Eber call the shots. This was new. This Kris was in charge and toppy.

Eber lay still and waited. “How will I have you first?” Kris mused. “Because I’m going to have you every way imaginable before I let you out of this bed.”

Eber’s pulse quickened and he couldn’t suppress a little moan when he felt Kris’s slick fingers tracing over his hole. “Gonna fuck you into next Tuesday.” Kris’s finger plunged in suddenly and Eber cried out. “Yeah, honey, I want to hear you.” Two fingers, and Eber moaned and tried to move against Kris, but Kris pulled out his fingers. “Be still, or I’ll stop.” Eber clenched his jaw and started to protest, but then he nodded and lay still again. “Good,” Kris said, and he rewarded him with his fingers, thrusting and twisting until Eber thought he’d go insane.

“Now,” Eber gasped.

“Now?” Kris’s fingers stopped. “Now what? Do you want me to stop?”

“No! Don’t stop, just.”

“Just what, honey?”

“You know.” Eber reached back and grabbed Kris’s thigh.

“Maybe I want to hear you say it.” Kris traced Eber’s ear with his tongue, and the sensation made Eber shiver.

“Please, Kris. Fuck me,” he gasped.

Kris growled and flipped Eber onto his back. “Now, that wasn’t so hard, was it?” He straddled Eber so that his cock was right over his face. “But this is. Now you’re gonna get it good and wet so I can give you what you want.” Kris braced his arm against the headboard and fed his dripping cock into Eber’s mouth. Eber swallowed eagerly, sucking and moaning as Kris fucked his mouth.

“Oh, yeah, that’s it, greedy bitch, suck it,” Kris babbled, and Eber sucked harder, urging Kris to shoot his load. But Kris kept fucking even though Eber knew he must be desperate to come. Eber moved one hand from Kris’s ass to cup his balls, which always brought Kris over the edge, and Kris cried out but stayed hard as he rammed his cock down Eber’s willing throat. Then Eber felt the reason why. A band of leather wrapped tight around the base of Kris’s cock. He moaned, and Kris finally pulled out, giving Eber full view of his engorged cock bound in leather.

“Jesus, Kris,” Eber moaned, and Kris laughed. “This gun’s not going off until I fill that ass.”

Kris moved down an lifted Eber’s legs, pressing them up and open. “Talk to me,” Kris ordered.

“Fuck me. Jesus, Kris, do it.”

“Nuh uh.” Kris shook his head “Beg for it.”

Eber’s threw back his head in frustration, and for a second he considered flipping Kris over and giving him a taste of his own medicine. But finally he gave in to what he really wanted.

“Please. Please, Kris, give it to me. I’ll do anything, just please give me your cock.”

And then Kris was pressing in, huge and hard as steel, hips slamming against Eber over and over, grunting as skin slapped skin. Eber rode the edge of orgasm as long as he could, until finally he came in long hot pulses, streaking his chest. That sight was all Kris could handle, and he reached down with a trembling hand to unsnap the leather cock ring, and then Eber was streaked with Kris’s come as well as his own, and Kris was lying on top of him, moving slippery and warm against him.

Neither could speak for a long time.

Finally Kris looked up questioningly at Eber, naughty and sweet and a little nervous.

Eber tried to look as stern as possible, and he took his time before he finally said, “We are definitely doing that again.”

They laughed as they tumbled out of bed and into the shower. And then they definitely did that again.

 

(TBC)


End file.
